Went Back To Ipoh.

Megat Naqib and me go a long way in our friendship. We were friends since we were Form One student in Sekolah Menengah Agama Izzuddin Shah Ipoh. To say we were in a clique back then. It isn't just me and him, there are Syafiq and Saiful Aqmal and a few more.

We weren't best friend in any sense. We were simply friends. Because we are.

Megat was the one who truly suggested that I should apply for MRSM for my upper secondary school studies. Beforehand, MRSM is totally out of the question. My grades in Arabic and Islamic I'dadi syllabus were excellent at that time. My ustaz says that I have a leniency on Islamic discipline and if  I want I should continue my studies in Egypt or Jordan .  Even if I were to leave SIS at all, it should be KISAS or Sekolah Menengah Agama Persekutuan at least. But after some deep thought, I applied MRSM . And God how my life is different due to this choice I've made. Megat then transferred to MRSM Taiping and I went to MRSM Muadzam Shah Pahang. And then I found myself in MRSM Taiping after half a year there.

Megat knows all the bad things about me.Obviously we judge other people. I myself are one of that. But he took it and never made a fuss about it. We respect each other like that.  Judge all you want, but social friends we will still be. Cool.

I don't really treat Megat and any good friends of mine that often, unlike how most of my  friends would describe me (  aside from freak and weird) . I never treat them dinner or anything. We will simply hang out together.

I don't treat friends who I truly, really consider as friends. I know them well enough not to invest and shower them with materials. I usually only treat people I considered as needful friends , for the sake of my social and educational life. I believe in mutualism. I know I need them for doing things later on, so I do invest on things.

But for Megat and few handful ones, not really.

What I believe is that in a friendship or even relationship, what we need to know is our limit and our distance. I do give I believe the utmost care or bother acts for friends I've known. I am rather selfish but I always know that being attentive to others will benefit me later.I like to help people- somehow. But it is probably  because I always need to boost my ego. I see little point of being that with Megat and some long time friends of mine. They know me. Hate me or not I am what I am.

And so it's always nice to return to Ipoh, driving through my old schools and realize that I'd go a long time. Gone were the days where I was naive and innocent and full of spirit of inquiry. I choose this path. I myself brought myself up to this point. It was full of the love of friends and people who cried for me, who offered me the fruits of Evil, who tempted me with Pleasure, one slapped me at my face and cried afterwards because I was in terrible state of despair, some of who still hangs around with me knowing who I am, or who just looking pitifully when I am in my isolation and loneliness period.

I've felt extremely alone once in my school life in Ipoh. So far that moment is the loneliest experience I've felt. Every now and then , whenever I feel sad I will always remind myself, "remember Ipoh."

And sure I do.