Sunday, December 13, 2015

The Smiles and The Laughters

I smile and I laugh. And I cried. I'm that kind of person who don't really hide my emotions. 

But I will smile and laugh more than I cry because I want people to remember me not for my sadness and tears, but for my happiness I've shown to them, regardless of how I feel most times. 

I guess that's all I can do. I'm not good with giving advice to people, not that strict as a person of authority, not that pious as a person of faith, not that supportive as a person whom teaching is my vocation. But all I have is my unabashed tendency to look at life and say , " this is too serious, let's just have a laugh and get it done". 

People in the end have to accept me for the imperfect person I am, just as I struggle to accept the imperfect me all this while. 

Tuesday, September 16, 2014


I'm not stable enough for all this. 

Feel like barfing all the time. 

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Dark Flame Master

I am an outgoing person, in general. My social skills aren't that bad, too. I make friends easily, somehow.That unfortunately also means that I tend to lose or move on from friends as easily too. I remember how Miss Nina, my English Literature teacher back in KMS reminded me personally that ' no man is an island' and how Miss Muna talked to me about the importance of deep friendship, but to still leave room for disappointments.

All in all however, I'm pretty much an open book . My opinions and personal ideologies are always unabashedly secular liberal and anti organised-religions, my mannerism flamboyant, I have musical taste of a 15yo girl and I am very intrusive sometimes. All evident for the world to see.

Regardless, my closest clique of friends did notice that I have a dark side I rarely show to anyone. I guess that's one thing, among very few I would consider as my 'life's secret'.

And it's alright. I am not a good actor. Acting is emotionally exhausting, so it's nice to be what I am without a care of this world once in a while. And it's nice to have these 2-3 individuals who know me well enough and I trust them well enough for me to be who I am comfortably am at one particular moment,and them not judging at all.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

About me.

I got this from a survey. 

About you

loner, more interested in intellectual pursuits than relationships or family, wrestles with the meaninglessness of existence, likes esoteric things, disorganized, messy, likes science fiction, can be lonely, observer, private, can't describe feelings easily, detached, likes solitude, not revealing, unemotional, rule breaker, avoidant, familiar with the darkside, skeptical, acts without consulting others, does not think they are weird but others do, socially uncomfortable, abrupt, fantasy prone, does not like happy people, appreciates strangeness, frequently loses things, acts without planning, guarded, not punctual, more likely to support marijuana legalization, not prone to compromise, hard to persuade, relies on mind more than on others, calm.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013


Kerasnya tindakan dan kebencian anda buat golongan Syiah di Malaysia, janganlah menagih simpati bila tiba giliran anda dilanyak nanti.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Being an Adult

What does it mean?

Does that mean I can only post Islamic-related stuff in my Facebook, abandoning my interest in books, anime and general entertainment?

Does it mean I have to quickly find a sexually grown homo sapiens who have vagina and make babies with her?

Does it mean that I should stop reading teenage-oriented novels?


Who cares? There are adults who act like a child, and there are teenagers that are mature beyond their age, only lacking in experience. There are plenty of sociological studies even on the broadening nature of 'youth' these day, especially in modern societies believing in Maslowe's Hierarchy of Needs.

This "being an adult" does not need sacrifice. It's just natural growth on life perspectives and acknowledging roles in society. Which means accepting AND rejecting socially-defined roles.

Individualism, babe.