Human.

I am used to being teased as not handsome , freak whatsoever.
Yeah I don't take anything of them to heart.
Because it is like that.

I am not handsome. That is true. very true.
Yeah I too am kind of overweight these days. Sure I've had that tiring September last year where I don't eat any rice at all and exercise daily ( it is hell on earth, I would say) so that I could gone down a little bit and indeed I did. I lost 9 kilos. But then I recover back and gained 15 kilos hahaha.

So, crash diet?No No. It works, but I would never, ever do that again.

I am freaky. Yup that's right. I don't know how to explain that, but I know that I don't really act normal.
I am confused. Not about my sexuality. But many other things. Life and death, happiness, humanity whatsoever- the fact that I am such kind a man definitely shows my lack of understanding towards my given religion, Islam-something I was born into .

I am hypocrite. I am rude. I am too cynical. I don't care about people's hearts. I close my heart for too intimate friendship. I use too much money for food. I complained about life TOO MUCH.

Bla bla bla.

Yeah, self-reflection of our weaknesses is important. But, it is also equally important for us to know on what is positive about ourselves. If I were to realize the only negative things about my life, I would suicidally kill myself already.

I'm serious. I've done many bad things in life sometimes I don't want to continue living. But yeah, I am afraid of death-again, showing my lack of faith in my religion, which is sad. I guess?

So, look at the positive aspects in life?

I am not handsome, but God compensated that with a usable brain I have up there at my head. Sure it's not as good as some of my friends that got 4.0, 3.9 for their TPNG, straight A's in SPM whatsoever. Still, I have been blessed with this mind I had. At least this brain hasn't exploded ( yet) due to me reading things unncessary in my academic life such as that boring philosophy, history thingy.

I know how it feels being a minority and a majority. I've known people from all sides of life. I've known that life is grey in nature. I know the downside of being idealistic and pragmatic.

I know that human is human afterall.