Regret

I won't let myself to live with regrets. No, not anymore. 

Things happen. And things happen often. 

We get some, we lose some. 

Friends come and friends go. Lovers come and lovers go. Money comes and money goes. Chance arrived and vanish as fast as lightning. 

Sometimes I screw up, sometimes they screw up. More often I would be the one screwing it up. 

I'm not going to get all hung up about it. 

I don't want to live in the past, and I've thrown away lots of things to turn back anyway. Enough doctors , psychiatrists and counsellor's appointments, enough medication, enough faking up laughter or faking despair. And I've thrown away all the Gods , living and dead and sail my soul through the imperfect river of Man's Spirit. Because I settled for half. 

I'll be in someone's journeys , and they mine. And sometimes I depart theirs with no trace, and so will them. And it's good.

Because life is good. And I've come a long way at realising that life itself is a reason for living. 

And my conclusion won't sit well with many. No matter. I don't live to please people nor Gods and I know the grumbling comes from a place of concern. 

This is me at 24. I hope the 16yo me were proud. Wan Khai, you've come a long way.