Love . Pain.

Love is not necessarily a state of visible happiness.

Sometimes it is very painful.

Because we love something then we feel the pain. Be we love something then when it is taken away, we feel very sad. Because we have a strong attachment to something that we see ourselves in helplessness when we lose it. We love it, we love him, we love her, we love them- just change the pronouns.

There my friend, think again. What do we love?

Would us feel sad when our parents die,sooner and later? Surely, yes.
A really expensive gadget. We lost it . Are we sad? I did. I lost my iPod Touch recently ( by my own fault) and I know I am really sad. I am really glad, really really glad that I feel sad.

There was a time where I was such a crybaby. In my boarding school, during lower secondary education, I would cry whenever I lost an item, because I know that my mum would then be very disappointed with me. I was frowned upon by others. A lot of friends don't understand me on that. They made fun of me. Eventually, I stop crying. I dissociate myself from everything that I have lost. Friends , included.  They are all replaceable. " Even I am replaceable". 

That time was a really dark time for me. Everything I believe in was replaceable. My faith is replaceable. My teachers and their love are replaceable. That was a time of all-smile. A time when one commits a sin, and one knows the degree of a sin, and one would just smile. Even God was replaceable with something else.

But at one point, late at night, during my f3 years, maybe I've had enough.  My mind can't bear it no more.

That night was the most lonely night I ever felt in my life. Tears was streaming down my cheeks like it will never go down anymore after that.I felt the pain, being like this heartless person. I think I cried because I know I love myself and I know I am doing a wrong thing to myself. I tried to cover it as much as possible but it just burst out.

People who read this, be grateful that perhaps you people don't have to go to what I've been. Be really grateful.

I am still suffering. I know I am. But I also know that I will recover. I know that He wouldn't leave me alone.

Back to the question.


Would us feel sad when our parents die,sooner and later? Surely, yes.
A really expensive gadget. We lost it . Are we sad? Should be. I did.

But do we feel sad when we are away for God, or when we are destroying ourselves from within?

Be happy when we feel sad.