Wankhai's Being Bitter.

You think you're turning more and more away from the straight path these days. You miss the last year where everything was so simple.

You miss the days where you can even have that kind of determination to wake up early in the morning and recite ma'thurat after subuh just like what you used to do in your SIS days.
The days where following jaulah and daurah were fun- because like some anthropologists, this thing you're observing around you is like a microcosm of the sub-society called " ikhwah" and " islamis"- it's a new, fascinating thing. Now you happen to be one of it( somehow), you've finally going native- the excitement's all gone. All of a sudden now, you have more interest in the concept of religious pluralism and to an extent, the concept of open-monotheism. 
The days where praying subuh late was considered so bad and you're feeling so remorseful - now, you woke up with a shrug and just said, "nah, accidents happen. oversleeping is not counted, just pray subuh as it is".
The days where the words of Banna and Abduh was enlightenment - now, you don't even differentiate them with Nietzsche, Buddha nor that Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory .

You see people around you striving to be better and indeed they achieved greatness- but once God tested you, you failed on istiqamah because you 'feel' that you are better than living this goody-two-shoes-repetitive-boring life of yours that you had last year.

Guess what? You're an arse.

You think that you're better than the rest of these good fellows who finally becomes much better person than you will ever be ? Dreams, dude, dreams.

You need to be knocked some sense into you. A bitchslap would be fine, as well.

I mean, what kind of a person are you? Reading lots of things don't make you a better human, mister, it's how you act. You are a hopeless wreck , mate, and if you don't take any actions about any of this ridiculous life of yours- you'll definitely end up being bitter and alone.

You think you're okay with being alone, aye? Wait till you see the time when all your friends are balding and too busy too play with you since they have a screaming kids and a loud wife to attend to - and tell me, this ghost of your past- how is it being bitter and alone? Fun? In fact,as you don't even have a brain like Sheldon , or absurdly patient friends of his- tell me how you will cope with that kind of life- being a sad, widely-hated-by-students English teacher who are too stingy to give students an A1 for their Ujian Selaras?

Tough.

Now you might think that all this are just some emotional, rambling stuff you wrote because Faizi had borrowed your external drive and you are clueless on how to live your life at the moment without watching Doctor Who or Big Bang Theory which you had kept in the external drive, but mark my words, young man. Mark my words. It will come to you.

Yours truthfully,
The outcome of your one hour of external drive withrawal syndrome.