Of Takdir Tuhan- My Family.

I was never ashamed of my family's background.
God has destined that I was born into a moderate family with Islam as merely rituals and customs.
Sometimes I did wonder, if only I was born into a "better family", a more 'ideal' family, a more 'stable' family....
But then I think back, no!
I am glad to be born in this family- this unique family of mine!

For example, I am never ashamed to say that my mum couldn't write or read- because I know those are the sacrifices that my mum had made in order for her little siblings, my aunts , to be able to have proper education. My mum, in order to bring food to the table, worked with my also non-literate grandmother- in almost practically anything. If my friends say that their mums were studying abroad, were professors in the university, were high-careered women ; I am proud to proclaim that I have a mum who had worked in sawah padi, in kebun getah, in kilang jeruk, in kebun sayur cina, a cook at a warong makan , selling nasi lemak early in the morning- this is my mother, and I couldn't pray for none other than her.


Some daie was born into a great family- have moms and dads who understand tarbiyah, who knows how to raise their children well and Islamic, who nurtures them in spirit of Islam and iman, who knows good parenting, who is well prepared for family life. I wouldn't say all those about my family.

I never had that kind of experience, but does it mean that my family, my mum and dad are bad? Are they bad parents?

No, I don't think so. They are great, beyond any praise. I might found certain weaknesses here and then, but I also am not a really good son. They do this thing this kind of ways , rather than this kind of ways, maybe because they simply do not know the actual ways of doing it. In other words, our family is still in jahiliah.

But, some daies got really harsh on these kinds of people- like our family. Maybe they are raised in certain environment hence when they sense anything not similar to them, they quickly attack these people. I, who was born into this kind of family, I couldn't afford to do things like that. You can curse those who don't want to cover their aurat, who were less observant about prayer and ikhtilat etc- but think again, would you curse your mother, if it happens that your mother is like that?

It is a hikmah that I was born into my family. God knows that I disagree with this kind of lifestyles, but God knows, I know that the way is the way of hikmah. I was trying to be a role model in my family first. There are many things I have to do, sometimes I feel like it's hopeless, but I have to remember of Allah's order, " “Wahai orang-orang beriman, selamatkanlah dirimu dan keluargamu dari Neraka, sedangkan bahan bakarnya adalah manusia dan batu" ( At-Tahrim: 6)

You can say all you want- how can I be a daie when I have a family like that?

But I know, deep inside, I am proud of my upbringing. I am proud of my family, Islamic and unIslamic. If they want to change later on , alhamdulillah. If they don't want it, I have nothing to condemn them with because I can only offer prayer that my family's and my own sin ( both stressed here because I am not by any means holier than them) are forgiven by the all-forgiving God.

"O Allah forgive my sins, and my parents, and bless them for the nurture that they give to me since I was a child"