When There Is No Love Involved

Being who I am,I have quite a share of straight, gay and bisexual friends.No lesbians, not that I know.For gay guys, I kinda pity them. A friend of mine confessed that he is very bored of his life.
" Wan, you should be able to understand me. My life is so tiring. I long for love of a man, but till now, none has come. Semua datang memanggil kita sayang, honey, and lots of "i love u",but they are all fake. What they want is just purely sex."

" Dalam masyarakat kita pun, aku dah cukup terseksa kena live double life. Nobody understands or want to understand me"

" Kenapala all guys yang aku jumpa cuma fikirkan seks semata. Aku tak fikirkan tu sangat actually. yang penting aku ada teman yang boleh aku kongsi suka duka aku"

itulah dunia gay. gay kan maksudnya riang, keseronokan semata.i learned my lesson.

Well, bila dia cakap "you should be able to understand me", aku terkedu. Tak begitu memahami.Tidak mampu melahirkan empati .My cases are different. Aku pernah didampingi guys yang memang benar-benar mahu menyayangi, ada yang jantan celaka seperti kawan aku punya boyfriends, still, atas faktor agama, terpaksa tolak sahajala.Tambahan pula perasaan sayangkan rakan masih menebal.

Aku tidak pernah merasai dunia kawanku itu. Yes, i have been in an all-boys school, but not as extreme as him.

Shida is the one who make me realize that I am not what I think I am. So, I am really grateful for her.

Apa yang aku cuba nak sampaikan, I don't want to talk about morality or ethics here, but to my friends, sexually-related relationship is not the only way to gain "love". kenapa menyempitkannya? apakah parents ada tidak memberi anda love? kawan2 anda?yang memahami kalian?

aku juga tidak mempercayai close friendship.itu pasti.tapi aku tidaklah merasakan bahawa itu penamat hidup.life has too much to offer.

I love my friends, be it gay, straight or even dumb. It is not I agree with that, they should realize that. But, to be homophobic is not needed.

Maybe experience teach me to be like that.

Stupid Me..Again

The IB juniors are expectedly boring~

maybe they are not yet comfortable with our college yet....

well, there are few cute girls nonetheless...and, erm, i only found three good-looking boys and one kinda cute one...

totally different from their seniors then...huhu..

Arrived on Tuesday evening, seeing those IBs in their new-damn-I'm-so-jealous Farabi block..

2 persons per room!!!!

Tido with pokjat...nothing unusual there.

Yesterday, the juniors were playing like kids.haha, at 18 they're playing water guns...

And last night, because of my stupid merajuk, membawa diri ke block Aminuddin and slept there alone.Whole block-no person- except me.

Jealousy did make person doing something crazy..

About what i got merajuk?Well, I won't tell~

My Recent Obsession

Hi,

Now, I know that a guy shouldn't ever read shoujo manga, but I couldn't help myself falling in love into them~

Before, it was Ouran High School Host Club, which the anime is like,erm, more than 20 times I watched already, now,it's Hana Kimi!!

Okay okay~

I know the manga is very shoujo-like, in fact there're tons of gay scenes!

Heaven!hope this very much exposures to gay scenes do not affect my sexual orientation, though I couldn't care less actually...

Erk!

I just love funny stories, and Hana Kimi is a very funny one.

A very naive girl get stranded in an all-boys school, isn't that very funny?

I've been in all-boys school, I know that the boys there are very "naughty",n "gersang", and yup, some are gays~ so, agirl living there and hiding her gender,huhu!!

hahaha~

and because it's hard to find a very trustful website to download the zipped hana kimi manga, me, being very obsessed, download them manually in onemanga.com.Now, how devoted afan could be?!HUHUHU.

Emotional Me..

Fikah-
Fikah-
Fikah~~~~
Bidaah...
Bidaah...
Bidaah~~~~
Salafi and syiah....
Salafi vs Syiah...

And gaduh.......
Gaduh...
Then bunuh........

Saling membodohkan , membangangkan, menyesatkan, mensyiahkan, mewahabikan, mengkufurkan, meng-ko-ahli-neraka-kan, mencemuh orang yang tak bersetuju dengan mereka......

And the discos are still full with muslims sinned themselves with alcohol, uncontrolled realtionship between men and women, even fornication becomes a normal thingy..

And don't let me get started with political immaturity in the country...

The umara' don't receive any guidelines from our ulama' coz they are too busy with fiqah and aqidah bickering, or diupah oleh orang Barat untuk bekerja dalam ekonomi Islam kat negara mereka,coz Barat pun dah sedar Islam tu apa~...umara' pun perangai mengalahkan Abdullah bin Ubai...

I mean, hallo!!
It's almost 1500 years dah Islam existed....
Tak selesai2 lagi ke fundamental basics of islam?

Well...
I'm not a supporter of salafist, tabligh, syiah or anything...
But, tak kisahla kalau dorang nak wujud pun........
Even pluralist, I know they're exist...
But simply killing them do not resolve anything pun.....Punishment may control, but may not destroy....

Tak fikir pasal co-ed ke, harmony ker....
But simply, I know u exist, but we mind our own business....

Me.Ana.Ore.

I think I'm always being a minority..

In lotsa things.....

course, opinion, and way of life....

Resolution

I've come to realize myself...
After much thought and conflic within myself.
I know..
Love is not for me..
I like her,true..
And she is the only one girl I have liked until now..
But being my best friend,
Well,no.
After all, I don't want to cheat her.

So, friends forever...and ever.