There must be something wrong with me.
I don't really miss Malaysia. Except for its Mid Valley where I can buy clothes without actually thinking too much like I am doing now these days~
Family, a bit. But I don't feel that urgency to call them whatsoever? Oh my, I must be an ungrateful child.
Oh yeah, food. Though I can say that I am still picky on food, in the end, I think I could live on Maggi and Indomie for days.
Mingling around with the non-Malays. I don't really mind. In fact, I don't really care if I go to bar whatsoever. It's not like I haven't been there in Malaysia at all. It's just maybe I want to set a limit in what I can do here- after all, God send me abroad for a reason- I would say "reasons". One of them is for self-discovery- I think.
Pretty much I've been bringing compass everywhere- well, I somehow feel blessed for that? The absence of a mosque or prayer space actually can make us realize that the whole land, is God's prayer space.
These days, I usually walk to campus alone. It didn't look tragic at all. I love the idea that I can walk on my own pace. Sometimes, we need friends. Sometimes, when pleasure clashes with duty, and our friends were choosing pleasure, we should know where to be independent.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
E Toru Nga Mea
E toru nga mea
Nga mea nunui
E ki ana
Te Paipera
Whakapono
Tumanako
Ko te mea nui
Ko te aroha.
Thereare three things
of greatness
so says
the Bible
Faith
Hope
The greatest of all
is Love ( charity)
What a lovely lesson I got today. A tribe of warriors- but within them, there are gentleness and peace loving deep residing .
Hai manusia, sesungguhnya Kami menciptakan kamu dari seorang lelaki dan perempuan serta menjadikan kamu berbangsa-bangsa dan berpuak-puak supaya kamu saling kenal mengenal. Sesungguhnya orang yang paling mulia di sisi Allah ialah orang yang paling takwa di antara kamu. Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Mengetahui lagi Maha Mengenal (Al-Hujurat 49;13).
Nga mea nunui
E ki ana
Te Paipera
Whakapono
Tumanako
Ko te mea nui
Ko te aroha.
Thereare three things
of greatness
so says
the Bible
Faith
Hope
The greatest of all
is Love ( charity)
What a lovely lesson I got today. A tribe of warriors- but within them, there are gentleness and peace loving deep residing .
Hai manusia, sesungguhnya Kami menciptakan kamu dari seorang lelaki dan perempuan serta menjadikan kamu berbangsa-bangsa dan berpuak-puak supaya kamu saling kenal mengenal. Sesungguhnya orang yang paling mulia di sisi Allah ialah orang yang paling takwa di antara kamu. Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Mengetahui lagi Maha Mengenal (Al-Hujurat 49;13).
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Assignment-sick
Instead of being 'homesick' to my country and family, I am now being 'assignment-sick'.
I didn't sleep at all for 24 hours, and planning to do so for the next 36 hours. God bless assignments! ( Especially when the due is within 36 hours and you're still 40% done).
Okay had my cup of coffee and Subuh prayer done.. So, bye bye!
I didn't sleep at all for 24 hours, and planning to do so for the next 36 hours. God bless assignments! ( Especially when the due is within 36 hours and you're still 40% done).
Okay had my cup of coffee and Subuh prayer done.. So, bye bye!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Answers
A lot of Muslims are caught with the impression that Islam can answer everything. Therefore, if they have certain doubts about Islam practices and so forth, they quickly assume that since Islam can't answer these questions, surely Islam is imperfect, and therefore, it is not true.
If only they know that even though Islam is perfect,the Muslims are not. The Muslims may be the messengers, the representative of Islam, but in the end, they do not contain the very essence of Islam themselves.
I can just suggest this:
1) Believe all you want. You want to doubt God? Sure, be my guest. But I would say that never, ever blame what our actions are to somebody else's life. Why do we decide the very fate of our souls to be decided by some other people's actions? Don't throw away your beliefs due to some other human errors. It is noble for us to doubt God, if in your mind, by doubting God, you are in a path to discover the God.
2) Do not read all of those things that are available to you, if only what you read is only to affirm to your ideas. You read just for the sake of "Oh, I read/learn that thing already. The book sucks". You don't even actually being honest in reading it. I am terribly amazed by my friends who read Bible just for the sake of falsifying and finding its errors, only. Why can't they realize that Injil and Torah, the two main components in the Bible , though for us Muslims are distorted, contains the very essence of morality that we all believers of religion can agree upon? Sure, read Bible however you want, it's not a problem, but it just saddens me that our narrow minded way of judging things distort many possibilities that may arrive from our open mindedness. I wish that Christians and non- Muslims in general read our Holy Quran with the intention of knowing us Muslims from our primary source, to see us beyond the terms of jihad and war, to acknowledge us as the people of Love, to see the very fact that we Muslims carry on the message of monotheism that has being brought by our Patriarchs and beloved Prophets of Allah. If I want them to do that, I must begin it myself. If I want evolutionists to read creationists' book on evolution, to see our sides of argument without being cynical, sceptical and narrow minded, we the creationists, who believes that our God created human from the clay, not primates, should also respect the evolutionists' ideas and perceptions.
3) I myself do not need every answers. I couldn't be bothered about the detailed ideas of God or how the God is. In that way, I am a little bit agnostic. It is enough for me as a Muslim to believe in the beautiful verses of Al-Ikhlas , one of the shortest ( yet represent 1/3 of Quran in essence) in defining my God. The God is the same, but people perceive it differently.
4) Read al-Quran. Some people shouted here and then that they doubted Islam and its practices, but for me, even if a Catholic doubted their faith, I would ask him to read his Bible again and again firrst. I would ask him to read the books of Thomas Aquinas, the letters of St Paul etc. Then I would ask him again on whether he is still in doubt or not. Sometimes, people doubt things because they are "bored" and have nothing to do. It is sad actually. If you want to doubt, doubt with conviction. Doubt in full faith. Doubt with reasonable reasons. Then people around you would never actually look you as somebody "who didn't do any homework, yet blatantly said things erroneously". If you doubt Islam because it didn't allow zina ( fornication) for example, how can people look at you seriously?
5. Guidance. Give guidance to others as much as you can ( without going overboard and creating things untrue) and be prepared to receive guidance. Sometimes people think that what they have is enough already. They should realize that youth is the age when we can learn many things, and at the same time, commit many mistakes. When we are old, we may still learn, but the room for error has been sized down. When we were a child, we may commit mistakes, but most of the time, we don't really learn from those many mistakes, only a handful of them.
6. All this words that I said today are mostly directed to me in actuality. I realize that I am an imperfect person, though created in perfection. I need guidance. I need people to help me. Some may think that what they have is enough, in knowledge, in wisdom, in faith. Little did they realize that as we age, we may regret on what we spent during our youth.
And God, whom I used to doubt and I know very well that I still doubt you sometimes, help me overcoming these things. I may be a sinner deemed for Hell in your Book of Fate, but I am begging for your Light now. Because for a chance is all it needs, yet a lifetime it takes to change.
" "O my people, this first life is a temporary illusion, while the Hereafter is the eternal destination." Quran 40:39)
If only they know that even though Islam is perfect,the Muslims are not. The Muslims may be the messengers, the representative of Islam, but in the end, they do not contain the very essence of Islam themselves.
I can just suggest this:
1) Believe all you want. You want to doubt God? Sure, be my guest. But I would say that never, ever blame what our actions are to somebody else's life. Why do we decide the very fate of our souls to be decided by some other people's actions? Don't throw away your beliefs due to some other human errors. It is noble for us to doubt God, if in your mind, by doubting God, you are in a path to discover the God.
2) Do not read all of those things that are available to you, if only what you read is only to affirm to your ideas. You read just for the sake of "Oh, I read/learn that thing already. The book sucks". You don't even actually being honest in reading it. I am terribly amazed by my friends who read Bible just for the sake of falsifying and finding its errors, only. Why can't they realize that Injil and Torah, the two main components in the Bible , though for us Muslims are distorted, contains the very essence of morality that we all believers of religion can agree upon? Sure, read Bible however you want, it's not a problem, but it just saddens me that our narrow minded way of judging things distort many possibilities that may arrive from our open mindedness. I wish that Christians and non- Muslims in general read our Holy Quran with the intention of knowing us Muslims from our primary source, to see us beyond the terms of jihad and war, to acknowledge us as the people of Love, to see the very fact that we Muslims carry on the message of monotheism that has being brought by our Patriarchs and beloved Prophets of Allah. If I want them to do that, I must begin it myself. If I want evolutionists to read creationists' book on evolution, to see our sides of argument without being cynical, sceptical and narrow minded, we the creationists, who believes that our God created human from the clay, not primates, should also respect the evolutionists' ideas and perceptions.
3) I myself do not need every answers. I couldn't be bothered about the detailed ideas of God or how the God is. In that way, I am a little bit agnostic. It is enough for me as a Muslim to believe in the beautiful verses of Al-Ikhlas , one of the shortest ( yet represent 1/3 of Quran in essence) in defining my God. The God is the same, but people perceive it differently.
4) Read al-Quran. Some people shouted here and then that they doubted Islam and its practices, but for me, even if a Catholic doubted their faith, I would ask him to read his Bible again and again firrst. I would ask him to read the books of Thomas Aquinas, the letters of St Paul etc. Then I would ask him again on whether he is still in doubt or not. Sometimes, people doubt things because they are "bored" and have nothing to do. It is sad actually. If you want to doubt, doubt with conviction. Doubt in full faith. Doubt with reasonable reasons. Then people around you would never actually look you as somebody "who didn't do any homework, yet blatantly said things erroneously". If you doubt Islam because it didn't allow zina ( fornication) for example, how can people look at you seriously?
5. Guidance. Give guidance to others as much as you can ( without going overboard and creating things untrue) and be prepared to receive guidance. Sometimes people think that what they have is enough already. They should realize that youth is the age when we can learn many things, and at the same time, commit many mistakes. When we are old, we may still learn, but the room for error has been sized down. When we were a child, we may commit mistakes, but most of the time, we don't really learn from those many mistakes, only a handful of them.
6. All this words that I said today are mostly directed to me in actuality. I realize that I am an imperfect person, though created in perfection. I need guidance. I need people to help me. Some may think that what they have is enough, in knowledge, in wisdom, in faith. Little did they realize that as we age, we may regret on what we spent during our youth.
And God, whom I used to doubt and I know very well that I still doubt you sometimes, help me overcoming these things. I may be a sinner deemed for Hell in your Book of Fate, but I am begging for your Light now. Because for a chance is all it needs, yet a lifetime it takes to change.
" "O my people, this first life is a temporary illusion, while the Hereafter is the eternal destination." Quran 40:39)
Proud? I Am.
I believe in freedom. Somehow.
To me, it's nothing unusual for somebody to be not patriotic and hate their respective countries.
To me, it's nothing unusual for somebody to hate the religion they're born with, especially when the religion forbids apostasy ( conversion to other religions). Religion has ceased to be of lesser significance and relevance for some, without neglecting the fact that indeed, Islam has seen a revival recently- due to the exposure of Islam as a terrorist religion and the infamous capital punishment in sharia.
What is more pathetic here is that some parliamentarians in those countries are the culprit. Shouldn't they realize that more and more people dislike the situation happening in that country? Shouldn't them all parliamentarians be ashamed of themselves, when most people now regard that their choices for the control of government are between the 'rotten apples' and the 'bad apples'; and not so much of "Red Delicious", "Braeburn", and almost impossibly "Royal Gala"!
To me, it's nothing unusual for somebody to be not patriotic and hate their respective countries.
To me, it's nothing unusual for somebody to hate the religion they're born with, especially when the religion forbids apostasy ( conversion to other religions). Religion has ceased to be of lesser significance and relevance for some, without neglecting the fact that indeed, Islam has seen a revival recently- due to the exposure of Islam as a terrorist religion and the infamous capital punishment in sharia.
What is more pathetic here is that some parliamentarians in those countries are the culprit. Shouldn't they realize that more and more people dislike the situation happening in that country? Shouldn't them all parliamentarians be ashamed of themselves, when most people now regard that their choices for the control of government are between the 'rotten apples' and the 'bad apples'; and not so much of "Red Delicious", "Braeburn", and almost impossibly "Royal Gala"!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Our Park
I just happen to like the image.
This is one of the many parks existed in the University of Auckland. We would cross this park every time we want to go to the Fisher Building- the one where DALSL ( Department of Applied Language Studies and Linguistics) is located.
I like Albert Park as well.
I don't think this field has a name, but we call it "our park".
Well, we haven't been to the Auckland Domain park actually , and I know the sceneries are nicer there. Blame us for being bitchy and only visited shopping districts tirelessly. (Oh, I really need to be slapped in the face for spending my money ( rakyat's money?) to buy clothes...and more clothes).
*slap*
Yay! One assignment down, one more to go! Then I 'll be happy to spend my time at the wondrous Auckland Museum- hell, I am even thinking of Devenport ( by ferry) and One Tree Hill now!
This is one of the many parks existed in the University of Auckland. We would cross this park every time we want to go to the Fisher Building- the one where DALSL ( Department of Applied Language Studies and Linguistics) is located.
I like Albert Park as well.
I don't think this field has a name, but we call it "our park".
Well, we haven't been to the Auckland Domain park actually , and I know the sceneries are nicer there. Blame us for being bitchy and only visited shopping districts tirelessly. (Oh, I really need to be slapped in the face for spending my money ( rakyat's money?) to buy clothes...and more clothes).
*slap*
Yay! One assignment down, one more to go! Then I 'll be happy to spend my time at the wondrous Auckland Museum- hell, I am even thinking of Devenport ( by ferry) and One Tree Hill now!
Monday, February 15, 2010
New Zealand
Nothing wrong for us to be happy ( and amazed) when we were told that New Zealand is the most ethical, non-corrupt country in the world in terms of governance.
Nothing wrong for us to be mesmerized when we were told the info that New Zealand has various cultures all living together in harmony , where traditions and modernization, the Maoris, the Pakehas ( Europeans) , the Polynesians, the Asians all live together in harmony- without any religion and culture being more superior than others.
But it is somehow funny( and sad) to find on what irony that is.
You see...
Them these Islamic preachers told us ...
" secularism is evil", "secularism is destruction", "secularism is the tool of Satan".
But the problem is that those highly secular countries, like Denmark and New Zealand, and the ones who are least corrupt, less violence etc?
The closest Sharia-obedient country in modern times is Saudi Arabia which is influenced by Salafiyyah Wahabiyyah, a far right Ahlul Sunnah wal Jamaah sect, and yet the corruption is also rampant there.
So what it is?
" Mereka tidak mengamalkan Islam yang sebenar?"
Well, it would be fun if they are slapped by this kind of answer : " Well, if we could live peacefully and doesn't invite any social chaos without actually obeying any kind of religion ( being secular) and just follow the moral ethics agreeable to all religions, why would we practice the so-called true, I-am-sure-very-rigid Islam?"
That's a hard one. I don't really think "it's-for-akhirat-you-wanna-burn-in-hell-I-didn't-I-wanna-get-72-virgins" answer doesn't really apply to these curious non believers anyway. They had that around the...err...Dark Ages ago?
Nothing wrong for us to be mesmerized when we were told the info that New Zealand has various cultures all living together in harmony , where traditions and modernization, the Maoris, the Pakehas ( Europeans) , the Polynesians, the Asians all live together in harmony- without any religion and culture being more superior than others.
But it is somehow funny( and sad) to find on what irony that is.
You see...
Them these Islamic preachers told us ...
" secularism is evil", "secularism is destruction", "secularism is the tool of Satan".
But the problem is that those highly secular countries, like Denmark and New Zealand, and the ones who are least corrupt, less violence etc?
The closest Sharia-obedient country in modern times is Saudi Arabia which is influenced by Salafiyyah Wahabiyyah, a far right Ahlul Sunnah wal Jamaah sect, and yet the corruption is also rampant there.
So what it is?
" Mereka tidak mengamalkan Islam yang sebenar?"
Well, it would be fun if they are slapped by this kind of answer : " Well, if we could live peacefully and doesn't invite any social chaos without actually obeying any kind of religion ( being secular) and just follow the moral ethics agreeable to all religions, why would we practice the so-called true, I-am-sure-very-rigid Islam?"
That's a hard one. I don't really think "it's-for-akhirat-you-wanna-burn-in-hell-I-didn't-I-wanna-get-72-virgins" answer doesn't really apply to these curious non believers anyway. They had that around the...err...Dark Ages ago?
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Auckland
I'm here. Am planning to stay for 3 years and a half, alive. No doubt.
I want to be able to return to Malaysia and proudly proclaim that..
I SURVIVED New Zealand...
p/s: everything is expensive except milk, cheese and apples...sobs
I want to be able to return to Malaysia and proudly proclaim that..
I SURVIVED New Zealand...
p/s: everything is expensive except milk, cheese and apples...sobs
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Orientation.
I suck at first-time socializing. It's very hard for me to smile to people I don't know or to initiate a chat with any people..so,apa yang boleh diharap for these?
® = free or subsidised event for Huia residents who buy a HURA
Huia Residence
Semester One 2010
ORIENTATION AND BEYOND
☻ = Free event for Huia residents
Membership band ($35)
Date & Time | Orientation Event |
Sunday 21 February 5.30pm 6.45pm | Floor Meetings – compulsory! Walking buses to University of for UniStart – programme for First years. Also a walking tour for those who aren’t first year to Uni….to UoA (and sign up at AUSA) and shops etc. |
Monday 22 February 11am | Walking tours to |
Monday 22 February 6pm 8pm | BBQ at Huia – Meet your fellow residents and the staff Quiz night – form a team with people from your floor and meet on the Ground Floor to impress everyone with your knowledge and win prizes. ☻ |
Tuesday 23 February 11am | Rainbows’ End – Theme park. Take your own lunch or be prepared to buy one. Wear your T-shirts please! You must sign up for this one early! ® |
24 February 4pm 8.30pm | Domain – Capture the Flag and Water Sponge Game ☻ |
Movie Night at Huia – pyjama party☻ | |
Thursday 25 February Thursday 25 February 7pm | Daytime – Sounds in the Sun concert at Unitec. ☻ Meet for buses (pay your own local bus fare) on ground floor. |
10 pin bowling. You must sign up for this one too. ® Venue: | |
Friday 26 February 3 – 5pm 7pm 8.30pm | Midnight Youth playing on the lawn at Old Government House. ☻ |
Speed Greeting & nibbles on the Ground Floor and other common rooms Details on posters round the Hall. ☻ | |
Party. Theme – Disco. Wristband covers entry fee but not drinks. ® The Carpark at | |
Saturday 27 February Daytime 8pm | Huia goes to the Zoo – meet the animals and have a quiet relaxing day. ®but you need to pay the local bus fare–further details to be announced |
Huia goes to the Lantern Festival at Albert Park. Meet on Ground floor to walk together. Free event celebrating Chinese New Year but pay for anything you want to buy (lots of food stalls)! ☻ | |
Sunday 28 February 1.30pm 6 – 7.30pm | Scav Hunt. Join with others on your floor (in floor colours) to navigate your way round destinations in the UoA & CBD area. Prizes for the winners. ☻Venue: Start and finish – Ground floor at Huia |
Be a Culture Vulture - Join Carolina Moon for a dusk performance of dreamy songs whose journey began in the heartlands of Sephardic In the Domain Winter Gardens. ☻ | |
The Events Beyond | |
21 March | InterRes Volleyball tournament. Play or support the Huia team –points count toward the overall Annual Cup. ☻International House court, time to be announced |
28 March | Inter-Res Touch |
2 May | Inter-Res Soccer. Details to be announced |
23 May | Inter-Res Teams quiz – at Grafton. Details to be announced |
Pool tournament TBC | |
Huia Talent Quest 1 TBC | |
Sunday | Assassins’ Week. Join in to hunt down your ‘victim’ and see who can be last left standing. |
Friday | Assassins’ Revealing. The winner is announced. |
Thursday | RA Slave for the Day Auction – get your RA to work for you! Not Free! Proceeds to charity. Details to be announced |
Saturday | RA Slave Day |
Secret admirer week | |
Friday | Huia Residence Formal Dinner. Bring your best gear for this one! Details to be announced. This will be subsidised but there will be a charge. |
® = free or subsidised event for Huia residents who buy a HURA
Membership band ($35) at the beginning of Semester 1.
Events will cost as follows to those in Huia who wish to go to a particular event (but not pay for the wrist band) are:
10 pin bowling - $10 per game
Rainbow’s End - $40 entry and $20 Bus fare
Party - $10 entry + own drinks
Zoo - $entry + local bus fare
like duh???
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Belasungkawa
2006- 2010...
Terima kasih Sony Walkman music player ku.
Walau kamu 1GB, kamu telah banyak berjasa.
Penemanku di kala aku keseorangan, dan di kala aku jemu dengan kehidupan dan rutin.
Pemergianmu akan dirasai.
Sangat sedih ...
Terima kasih Sony Walkman music player ku.
Walau kamu 1GB, kamu telah banyak berjasa.
Penemanku di kala aku keseorangan, dan di kala aku jemu dengan kehidupan dan rutin.
Pemergianmu akan dirasai.
Friday, February 5, 2010
10 Random Things About Me.
1. I like Lady Gaga, Aphabeat, Taylor Swift and Panic at The Disco's kind of music.
2.I hate myself- most of the time.
3. I like to talk about "infos"-to me, world revolves around "infos" , not " facts" , more so "truths".
4. I have a terrible fashion sense.
5. My idea of happiness is...........me not feeling guilty.
6. I deleted my Myspace, Friendster and most of my friend's phone number for the sake of moving on.
7. I don't like to listen to radio. I just browse at40, billboard.com and UK top charts at BBC.
8. I want to be rich.
9. I want to be clever.
10.Love exists. But so do illusions.
2.I hate myself- most of the time.
3. I like to talk about "infos"-to me, world revolves around "infos" , not " facts" , more so "truths".
4. I have a terrible fashion sense.
5. My idea of happiness is...........me not feeling guilty.
6. I deleted my Myspace, Friendster and most of my friend's phone number for the sake of moving on.
7. I don't like to listen to radio. I just browse at40, billboard.com and UK top charts at BBC.
8. I want to be rich.
9. I want to be clever.
10.Love exists. But so do illusions.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Dilema.
1. Saya dapat elaun komputer, RM3000.
2.Alhamdulillah.
3. Tapi saya jadi keliru.
4. Banyak sangat pilihan.
5. Dell Studio 15
6. Toshiba Protege m900
7. Compaq
8. Urghhhhh. Arghhhh. Euwwww.
9. Saya rasa macam tak mahu beli laptop saja sekarang. Sampai-sampai NZ beli desktop PC sebijik baru tahu.
2.Alhamdulillah.
3. Tapi saya jadi keliru.
4. Banyak sangat pilihan.
5. Dell Studio 15
6. Toshiba Protege m900
7. Compaq
8. Urghhhhh. Arghhhh. Euwwww.
9. Saya rasa macam tak mahu beli laptop saja sekarang. Sampai-sampai NZ beli desktop PC sebijik baru tahu.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Human.
I am used to being teased as not handsome , freak whatsoever.
Yeah I don't take anything of them to heart.
Because it is like that.
I am not handsome. That is true. very true.
Yeah I too am kind of overweight these days. Sure I've had that tiring September last year where I don't eat any rice at all and exercise daily ( it is hell on earth, I would say) so that I could gone down a little bit and indeed I did. I lost 9 kilos. But then I recover back and gained 15 kilos hahaha.
So, crash diet?No No. It works, but I would never, ever do that again.
I am freaky. Yup that's right. I don't know how to explain that, but I know that I don't really act normal.
I am confused. Not about my sexuality. But many other things. Life and death, happiness, humanity whatsoever- the fact that I am such kind a man definitely shows my lack of understanding towards my given religion, Islam-something I was born into .
I am hypocrite. I am rude. I am too cynical. I don't care about people's hearts. I close my heart for too intimate friendship. I use too much money for food. I complained about life TOO MUCH.
Bla bla bla.
Yeah, self-reflection of our weaknesses is important. But, it is also equally important for us to know on what is positive about ourselves. If I were to realize the only negative things about my life, I would suicidally kill myself already.
I'm serious. I've done many bad things in life sometimes I don't want to continue living. But yeah, I am afraid of death-again, showing my lack of faith in my religion, which is sad. I guess?
So, look at the positive aspects in life?
I am not handsome, but God compensated that with a usable brain I have up there at my head. Sure it's not as good as some of my friends that got 4.0, 3.9 for their TPNG, straight A's in SPM whatsoever. Still, I have been blessed with this mind I had. At least this brain hasn't exploded ( yet) due to me reading things unncessary in my academic life such as that boring philosophy, history thingy.
I know how it feels being a minority and a majority. I've known people from all sides of life. I've known that life is grey in nature. I know the downside of being idealistic and pragmatic.
I know that human is human afterall.
Yeah I don't take anything of them to heart.
Because it is like that.
I am not handsome. That is true. very true.
Yeah I too am kind of overweight these days. Sure I've had that tiring September last year where I don't eat any rice at all and exercise daily ( it is hell on earth, I would say) so that I could gone down a little bit and indeed I did. I lost 9 kilos. But then I recover back and gained 15 kilos hahaha.
So, crash diet?No No. It works, but I would never, ever do that again.
I am freaky. Yup that's right. I don't know how to explain that, but I know that I don't really act normal.
I am confused. Not about my sexuality. But many other things. Life and death, happiness, humanity whatsoever- the fact that I am such kind a man definitely shows my lack of understanding towards my given religion, Islam-something I was born into .
I am hypocrite. I am rude. I am too cynical. I don't care about people's hearts. I close my heart for too intimate friendship. I use too much money for food. I complained about life TOO MUCH.
Bla bla bla.
Yeah, self-reflection of our weaknesses is important. But, it is also equally important for us to know on what is positive about ourselves. If I were to realize the only negative things about my life, I would suicidally kill myself already.
I'm serious. I've done many bad things in life sometimes I don't want to continue living. But yeah, I am afraid of death-again, showing my lack of faith in my religion, which is sad. I guess?
So, look at the positive aspects in life?
I am not handsome, but God compensated that with a usable brain I have up there at my head. Sure it's not as good as some of my friends that got 4.0, 3.9 for their TPNG, straight A's in SPM whatsoever. Still, I have been blessed with this mind I had. At least this brain hasn't exploded ( yet) due to me reading things unncessary in my academic life such as that boring philosophy, history thingy.
I know how it feels being a minority and a majority. I've known people from all sides of life. I've known that life is grey in nature. I know the downside of being idealistic and pragmatic.
I know that human is human afterall.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)