Hari ini 16 Disember 2009. Dan masa ini sudah 30 Zulhijjah maybe?
Maka blog ini akan berehat seketika sehingga hujung tahun masihi 2009 lah.
Kita makin tua, dan mati itu memang pasti.
Dan dunia makin kelam-kabut.
Palestina yang sentiasa menangis, ke konflik politik tanah air yang tidak berkesudahan sehingga rakyat rasa malu menjadi rakyat Malaysia, ke Sidang Alam Sekitar di Copenhagen . Semuanya chaotic, semuanya kucar lanar.
Barack Hussein Obama yang terkenal dengan slogan "Change" kelihatan letih dan letih mengurus Amerika Syarikat. Pihak pembangkang di Malaysia yang dahulunya mengisyaratkan naiknya seorang kulit hitam ke jawatan tertinggi empayar US itu sebagai tanda perubahan sejagat kini hanya terdiam dengan segala yang berlaku kini. Obama lelah. Dia seolah berseorangan cuba menukar polisi-polisi US dan setakat ini, samar dan kabur lagi kesannya. Reformasi sistem kesihatan hampir berjaya dan menunggu proses, janji untuk menghapuskan sistem diskriminasi buat golongan homoseksual masih di peringkat retorik dan sebagainya.
Di Malaysia sendiri, pemblog-pemblog sudah ada mula menyoal, apa sebenarnya maksud "Islam sebagai agama rasmi" di Malaysia? Kalau dahulu, status "Melayu" sahaja yang jadi bahan perdebatan. Kini, status Islam menjadi seolah-seolah semakin kabur dan relatif? Saya mengambil pendirian positif dalam hal ini, maaf cakap. Biarlah Islam jatuh tersungkur dan dilihat segala orang, daripada Islam dilihat cantik dan berdaulat di Perlembagaan sedangkan "sudah membusuk sehingga ke usus" di dalam negara.
25 Disember semakin dekat. Saya tidak ramai kawan non-Muslim atau lebih tepat lagi Kristian. Tapi tidak mengapalah. Saya rasa tarikh lahir Jesus Christ ialah sama ada 25 Disember atau 6 Januari mengikut gereja masing-masing, tapi saya ucapkan Selamat Hari Krismas siap-siaplah di sini.
Saya mengucapkan selamat hari Krismas kepada kalian di atas pegangan saya bahawa Nabi Isa ialah Utusan Allah , Roh Allah buat umat sebelum Muhammad.
Dan juga selamat tahun baru masihi untuk semua kita ya~
Dan lebih dekat lagi, selamat tahun baru hijrah buat kita semua. Mari kita bermuhasabah dengan bagaimana kita menghabisi waktu-waktu kita selama ini, dan berazam untuk menjadi lebih baik lagi.
Dan terakhir, salam 10 Muharam yang akan tiba tidak lama lagi. 10 Muharam yang sunnah berpuasa pada harinya. 10 Muharam yang penuh kesyahduan , dengan Imam Husin bin Ali dipenggal kepalanya di Karbala. Panglima tentera yang kehausan di padang pasir , mereka berjuang demi hak dan pegangan Islam. Mereka menentang tirani, dan ijtihad Imam Husin membawa mereka ke jalan syahid semuanya. Ya mereka keluarga Nabi, tapi wanita-wanitanya diarak-arak ibarat hamba, titis-tisis nasab Rasulullah dibunuh tanpa simpati . Begitulah, 'pencinta' Ahlul Bait.
Saya ingin menitipkan kata-kata terkenal Ali Shariati, ahli falsafah Islam terkenal,
" Setiap hari adalah Ashura, setiap tempat ialah Karbala."
Salam. Ketemu lagi 2010.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Pindah Rumah.
Kompleks Perumahan IPPD Gombak. Rumah flat. 4 bilik dan 2 bilik air. Mak yang terlalu sayangkan perabot- meski sudah terlalu usang- dah lama pakai katanya. Kalau dalam istilah saya: nostalgik. Atau dalam bahasa saya dalam hati: *&^%. Tidak paham kenapa mak tidak tahu dan tidak mahu tahu pasal minimalisme. Saya yang suka sejarah ini pun tahu: 1) perabot 2) kalau dah usang, boleh perbaik 3) kalau x mahu perbaik, apa lagi....
Tetapi saya sajakah yang tahu di rumah ini?
Dan memang tidak faham perempuan. Oh kata-kata dalam post ini akan jadi sexist jadi feminis tegar bersedia.
Beli baju kejadah apakah sampai bilik-bilik lain pun terpaksa ditumpangkan baju mereka sedangkan sampai bila-bila pun mereka ( baca: anak lelaki) tidak boleh pakai benda-benda alah ini melainkan mereka tiba-tiba berangan nak jadi mak nyah.
Rumah makin sesak. Dua minggu mak tiri tumpang tinggal di rumah mak ini kerana dia sedang berpindah ke rumah sewa baru yang lebih dekat dengan rumah mak. Sebelum ini dia tinggal di Bangsar. Yay ayah dah tak ada alasan nak mengelat " Abang kat mana? Kat rumah Sue jangan tipu Sue ada kat rumah dengan Kamarul ni. Dia bawak Ida dan Erin gi Selayang Mall tadi".
Tapi begitulah. Sesaklah rumah ini. Dua isteri dalam satu rumah sederhana besar dengan perabot yang banyak , dua anak kecil ( Erin 5 bulan Kamarul 3 bulan) yang selalu menangis tak tentu pasal yang saya rasa macam nak baling -baling saja dan mujur saya sabar, dan kerja memindahkan barang yang memenatkan.
Masa nak angkut-angkut barang semalam dan tadi, baru sedar mak dan auntie ada satu citarasa yang sama. Tak reti erti "lama" dan "tidak berguna". Perabot-perabot lama abah dan saya nak buang je dah, tiba-tiba auntie menjerit " jangan buang!" . Mak yang datang tolong-tolong pun kata "betul! buat per buang. boleh letak baju lagi. pintu yang kopak. leh perbaik lagi!". Yelah "perbaik lagi" itu tidak mungkin dah dalam kes ini. Dan sebenarnya almari itu tidak perlu pun melainkan baju-baju zaman-zaman muda-muda ( baca: dah tak muat pakai) tetapi masih mengada-ngada mahu disimpan. Ikut hati jahat mahu sahaja dibakar baju-baju itu ikut hati baik baling-baling dalam plastik sampah hantar ke rumah anak-anak yatim.
Abah bertikam lidah lah sekejap dengan mak dan auntie. Heh. Kalah. Dua madu mempertahankan sikap " menyayangi barang-barang lama meski dia dah tak berguna. ATAU sebenarnya berusaha bermati-matian memastikan tidak wujud alasan abah nanti " hah baju-baju ni dah tak ada tempat nak letak bak sini nak buang."
Ceh.
Tetapi auntie tidak tahu, saya dan abah dah senyap-senyap buang dua tiga belas bundut barang-barang lama masa auntie duduk rumah mak. Di rumah di Bangsar itu, sambil-sambil mengemas barang-barang yang mahu, abah dan saya memasukkan sebahagian baju-baju lama dan campak terus ke tepi rumah tong sampah besar. Alah dia bukan ingat pun baju-baju tu. Tapi tak boleh buang semua, dia leh sedar jugak kang.
" Kamu jangan bagi tahu auntie kamu.". OK. Rahsia lelaki.
Nak jadi suami tak perlu pandai menipu. Dosa. Tetapi kena pandai tidak memberitahu benda-benda yang tidak perlu. Huhu.
Tetapi saya sajakah yang tahu di rumah ini?
Dan memang tidak faham perempuan. Oh kata-kata dalam post ini akan jadi sexist jadi feminis tegar bersedia.
Beli baju kejadah apakah sampai bilik-bilik lain pun terpaksa ditumpangkan baju mereka sedangkan sampai bila-bila pun mereka ( baca: anak lelaki) tidak boleh pakai benda-benda alah ini melainkan mereka tiba-tiba berangan nak jadi mak nyah.
Rumah makin sesak. Dua minggu mak tiri tumpang tinggal di rumah mak ini kerana dia sedang berpindah ke rumah sewa baru yang lebih dekat dengan rumah mak. Sebelum ini dia tinggal di Bangsar. Yay ayah dah tak ada alasan nak mengelat " Abang kat mana? Kat rumah Sue jangan tipu Sue ada kat rumah dengan Kamarul ni. Dia bawak Ida dan Erin gi Selayang Mall tadi".
Tapi begitulah. Sesaklah rumah ini. Dua isteri dalam satu rumah sederhana besar dengan perabot yang banyak , dua anak kecil ( Erin 5 bulan Kamarul 3 bulan) yang selalu menangis tak tentu pasal yang saya rasa macam nak baling -baling saja dan mujur saya sabar, dan kerja memindahkan barang yang memenatkan.
Masa nak angkut-angkut barang semalam dan tadi, baru sedar mak dan auntie ada satu citarasa yang sama. Tak reti erti "lama" dan "tidak berguna". Perabot-perabot lama abah dan saya nak buang je dah, tiba-tiba auntie menjerit " jangan buang!" . Mak yang datang tolong-tolong pun kata "betul! buat per buang. boleh letak baju lagi. pintu yang kopak. leh perbaik lagi!". Yelah "perbaik lagi" itu tidak mungkin dah dalam kes ini. Dan sebenarnya almari itu tidak perlu pun melainkan baju-baju zaman-zaman muda-muda ( baca: dah tak muat pakai) tetapi masih mengada-ngada mahu disimpan. Ikut hati jahat mahu sahaja dibakar baju-baju itu ikut hati baik baling-baling dalam plastik sampah hantar ke rumah anak-anak yatim.
Abah bertikam lidah lah sekejap dengan mak dan auntie. Heh. Kalah. Dua madu mempertahankan sikap " menyayangi barang-barang lama meski dia dah tak berguna. ATAU sebenarnya berusaha bermati-matian memastikan tidak wujud alasan abah nanti " hah baju-baju ni dah tak ada tempat nak letak bak sini nak buang."
Ceh.
Tetapi auntie tidak tahu, saya dan abah dah senyap-senyap buang dua tiga belas bundut barang-barang lama masa auntie duduk rumah mak. Di rumah di Bangsar itu, sambil-sambil mengemas barang-barang yang mahu, abah dan saya memasukkan sebahagian baju-baju lama dan campak terus ke tepi rumah tong sampah besar. Alah dia bukan ingat pun baju-baju tu. Tapi tak boleh buang semua, dia leh sedar jugak kang.
" Kamu jangan bagi tahu auntie kamu.". OK. Rahsia lelaki.
Nak jadi suami tak perlu pandai menipu. Dosa. Tetapi kena pandai tidak memberitahu benda-benda yang tidak perlu. Huhu.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi.
When I was 14 or15, I'm not sure, I was terribly lonely. God means nothing to me. Islam to me is tragic. Religion to me is stupid. I prayed 5 times a day because of that religious school's rules, I fast almost every Monday and Thursday due to my repentance of not believing in the Lord, I read Quran diligently, I frequent myself visiting the school library and read any books that caught my eyes. The first book I caught my eyes upon was an Islamic story of the Spanish Muslim kingdom, Under The Shadow of the Pomegranates by Tariq Ali. Then I remember borrowing a copy of Ihya Ulumuddin by Hujjatul Islam Imam Ghazali. It's very didactic yet very full of akhlak dan propagation of virtue.
Funny is the fact that I read, pray, fast all of those years out of my feelings of guilt of not being able to understand my God. No wonder I sinned.
I continue my self-loathing life . Life holds no significance, anyway.
Then I stumbled upon one book at the far corner in the Library. It was a book that discusses the Science in Quran and Bible, written by a Christian Professor . I hate science, so I don't give any particular attention to it but as I gazed at the last page on that thick book, there's a prayer quoted.
By Saint Francis of Assisi.
From a prayer of Christian monk, a foreign religion then I believe that there must be God. Because this man prays with such hope it's so sad that there aren't any God. But I happen to not remember what are actually said. Only recently, when I read the news of Mohamed Elbaradei, former IAEA ( Atomic Energy Agency ) chief resignation, I remember such incident . In his resignation speech, he ended it by quoting the prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi. Oh very refreshing!
Funny is the fact that I read, pray, fast all of those years out of my feelings of guilt of not being able to understand my God. No wonder I sinned.
I continue my self-loathing life . Life holds no significance, anyway.
Then I stumbled upon one book at the far corner in the Library. It was a book that discusses the Science in Quran and Bible, written by a Christian Professor . I hate science, so I don't give any particular attention to it but as I gazed at the last page on that thick book, there's a prayer quoted.
By Saint Francis of Assisi.
From a prayer of Christian monk, a foreign religion then I believe that there must be God. Because this man prays with such hope it's so sad that there aren't any God. But I happen to not remember what are actually said. Only recently, when I read the news of Mohamed Elbaradei, former IAEA ( Atomic Energy Agency ) chief resignation, I remember such incident . In his resignation speech, he ended it by quoting the prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi. Oh very refreshing!
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
A Prayer of Contemplation.
Remember ye implored
The assistance of your Lord,
And He answered you:
"I will assist you
With a thousand of the angels,
Ranks on ranks.".
Quran -s. viii. 9
Love is patient,love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres"
I Corinthians 13:4-7 ( New Testament, Bible)
"...Be strong and of good courage;
do not be afraid, nor be dismayed,
for the Lord your God is with you
wherever you go. "
Joshua 1:9( Torah ( Judaism), Old Testament)
Monday, December 7, 2009
I Have No More Sympathy For Muslims.
Some say that if you were a Muslim then you must always back the Muslims, no matter what they did. Ridiculous . If that was not asabiyah, I don't know what it is.
I just feel something radical need to be addressed when I read today's Utusan Luar Negara.
: Pelampau Kristian Britain ditahan
Surely, some Muslims would spill out "racism" and " discrimination" as reasons to all this demonstrations and protests by English Defense League (EDL). Yeah I found it 'racist' as well. But the funny thing is this UK, the previous champion of democracy and freedom of expression ( before US) is now trapped by their own ideology.
Muslims get anxious whenever their "rights" are at stake. Muslims population at present in UK has gone up to 2.1 million people, mostly immigrants. That should be fine actually, considering capitalists in UK need cheap labour from the ever-willing Bangladeshis and Indian Muslims. We Muslims are that cheap? With these migrants come their cultures as well, and Europeans are torn apart of truly accepting such cultures on their grounds or not.
Funny is the fact that why and why Muslims always show reluctance to integrate into Western values. Funny is the fact that a 2005 report by BBC revealed that 60% of Muslims in UK are Pakistanis and Bangladeshis. Funny is the fact that this report believed that 63% of these 60% of Muslims are poor, and 43% of them unemployed. So it's not a wonder that 1600 and more mosques in UK weren't actually built by the locals' money. It's either from the Barelvis, Saudi salafis or Iran Shias. Well, a majority of them , not all. The Malaysian Muslims are a good example, at general, on how such integration can be done without actually tarnishing the image of religion.
Integrate. Is that too hard? Obeying a secular country is different from being secular . Even secularism can actually be divided into two types, without mentioning the technical term, let's just say the types are US-type and France-type. The secular US is still engraved in their dollar currency "In God we trust", oath swearing by the Bible and a very active Christian evangelists' headquarters. Multi-culturalism in US flourished due to the freedom of expression enshrined by the US Constitution. The French version of secularism is followed by the secular Turkey, where secularism meant absolute non-affiliation of religion in state affairs. There's when you find the total banning of hijab in France in government instituitions. I mean, such fuss, enough already, the Christians aren't that complaining when they are not allowed to wear Christian rosaries whatever, they thrive under pressure ( somehow), so Muslims also can't afford to get berserk under pressure.We are as holy as people with religions, if not more.
Moreover, it's funny to see that in Western societies, Muslims are champion of democracy and freedom of expression whatever- which hardly unparalleled to the realities of Muslim countries. The dissatisfaction of non-Muslims in these countries are evidently available on the powerful internet, for example. Only the Muslims are that ignorant. Muslims are nothing but selfish then? I hope that is not the case.
The Western people as I said earlier are trapped by their own ideologies. They are the people who guarantee the freedom of expression and padan muka, such guarantee jeopardize their own other modern values. Globalisation (so called, deemed by Prof Syed Naquib al-Attas as westoxification?) go both ways. Funny yet again when the people in Muslim countries are so afraid about their kids adoring Western culture while in UK the people gotten insecure with the rising population of Muslims there- which is associated with honor killing, discrimination of women, enforcement of unneeded sharia ( even Archbishop of Canterburry Dr Rowan Williams supports this marriage court) .
Antimigration policy seem to be gaining support these days in Europe. Muammar Gaddafi loathed upon Switzerland's ban on building minarets at Muslim mosques. He labelled the Swiss government " mafia". I don't support Gaddafi on this matter. Switzerland has a participatory democracy system, meaning that every single bit of policy is done with people's vote, not just some 4 year once general election. When the Swiss people vote on NOT allowing the building of minarets at mosque recently , so please just respect the people. I mean, the funny thing yet again is that it's just MINARETS, for heaven's sake.
Gaddafi commented that this event would give Muslim countries reasons to not allow construction of churches, synanogues, shrines whatever. Duh. Like all these past years, such restrictions aren't already existed due to some paranoid people. Get a life. Get your facts rights. Muslims are always on this defensive mode all this while, anyway.
Europe should take a stand in this matter. If they believe that such Muslims are a threat to the societies, do impose on antimigration laws. Then you need not anymore complaining on honor killings happen in Europe grounds, rise of criminal cases whatever, at the expense of Muslims' cheap labour ( oh that sounds pathetic and tragic) . If you want to be liberal progressive societies, then invest on integration programs for the migrants alongside respect for the people's tradition as well.
Islam ( okay, this is the first time the word is mentioned in this long post ) is not an issue here.
Without excluding the proud fact that there are indeed significant proportion of good professional Muslims who either work or study in Europe or America, who pays taxes religiously ( pun intended), who loathes extremism and whatnot, the worldwide governments therefore need to address this petty Muslim migrant issue once and for all. Chinese immigrants are a case well solved, to quote the history. We have more serious issues like ever-falling global economy system or global threat caused by natural impact or instability of geopolitics.
Give the turban wearing, hijab adorning Muslims jobs, comfort and acceptance in this 'shared' world- or send them back to where they once belong.
- The writer was a TESOL student from MARA College Seremban.
I just feel something radical need to be addressed when I read today's Utusan Luar Negara.
: Pelampau Kristian Britain ditahan
Surely, some Muslims would spill out "racism" and " discrimination" as reasons to all this demonstrations and protests by English Defense League (EDL). Yeah I found it 'racist' as well. But the funny thing is this UK, the previous champion of democracy and freedom of expression ( before US) is now trapped by their own ideology.
Muslims get anxious whenever their "rights" are at stake. Muslims population at present in UK has gone up to 2.1 million people, mostly immigrants. That should be fine actually, considering capitalists in UK need cheap labour from the ever-willing Bangladeshis and Indian Muslims. We Muslims are that cheap? With these migrants come their cultures as well, and Europeans are torn apart of truly accepting such cultures on their grounds or not.
Funny is the fact that why and why Muslims always show reluctance to integrate into Western values. Funny is the fact that a 2005 report by BBC revealed that 60% of Muslims in UK are Pakistanis and Bangladeshis. Funny is the fact that this report believed that 63% of these 60% of Muslims are poor, and 43% of them unemployed. So it's not a wonder that 1600 and more mosques in UK weren't actually built by the locals' money. It's either from the Barelvis, Saudi salafis or Iran Shias. Well, a majority of them , not all. The Malaysian Muslims are a good example, at general, on how such integration can be done without actually tarnishing the image of religion.
Integrate. Is that too hard? Obeying a secular country is different from being secular . Even secularism can actually be divided into two types, without mentioning the technical term, let's just say the types are US-type and France-type. The secular US is still engraved in their dollar currency "In God we trust", oath swearing by the Bible and a very active Christian evangelists' headquarters. Multi-culturalism in US flourished due to the freedom of expression enshrined by the US Constitution. The French version of secularism is followed by the secular Turkey, where secularism meant absolute non-affiliation of religion in state affairs. There's when you find the total banning of hijab in France in government instituitions. I mean, such fuss, enough already, the Christians aren't that complaining when they are not allowed to wear Christian rosaries whatever, they thrive under pressure ( somehow), so Muslims also can't afford to get berserk under pressure.We are as holy as people with religions, if not more.
Moreover, it's funny to see that in Western societies, Muslims are champion of democracy and freedom of expression whatever- which hardly unparalleled to the realities of Muslim countries. The dissatisfaction of non-Muslims in these countries are evidently available on the powerful internet, for example. Only the Muslims are that ignorant. Muslims are nothing but selfish then? I hope that is not the case.
The Western people as I said earlier are trapped by their own ideologies. They are the people who guarantee the freedom of expression and padan muka, such guarantee jeopardize their own other modern values. Globalisation (so called, deemed by Prof Syed Naquib al-Attas as westoxification?) go both ways. Funny yet again when the people in Muslim countries are so afraid about their kids adoring Western culture while in UK the people gotten insecure with the rising population of Muslims there- which is associated with honor killing, discrimination of women, enforcement of unneeded sharia ( even Archbishop of Canterburry Dr Rowan Williams supports this marriage court) .
Antimigration policy seem to be gaining support these days in Europe. Muammar Gaddafi loathed upon Switzerland's ban on building minarets at Muslim mosques. He labelled the Swiss government " mafia". I don't support Gaddafi on this matter. Switzerland has a participatory democracy system, meaning that every single bit of policy is done with people's vote, not just some 4 year once general election. When the Swiss people vote on NOT allowing the building of minarets at mosque recently , so please just respect the people. I mean, the funny thing yet again is that it's just MINARETS, for heaven's sake.
Gaddafi commented that this event would give Muslim countries reasons to not allow construction of churches, synanogues, shrines whatever. Duh. Like all these past years, such restrictions aren't already existed due to some paranoid people. Get a life. Get your facts rights. Muslims are always on this defensive mode all this while, anyway.
Europe should take a stand in this matter. If they believe that such Muslims are a threat to the societies, do impose on antimigration laws. Then you need not anymore complaining on honor killings happen in Europe grounds, rise of criminal cases whatever, at the expense of Muslims' cheap labour ( oh that sounds pathetic and tragic) . If you want to be liberal progressive societies, then invest on integration programs for the migrants alongside respect for the people's tradition as well.
Islam ( okay, this is the first time the word is mentioned in this long post ) is not an issue here.
Without excluding the proud fact that there are indeed significant proportion of good professional Muslims who either work or study in Europe or America, who pays taxes religiously ( pun intended), who loathes extremism and whatnot, the worldwide governments therefore need to address this petty Muslim migrant issue once and for all. Chinese immigrants are a case well solved, to quote the history. We have more serious issues like ever-falling global economy system or global threat caused by natural impact or instability of geopolitics.
Give the turban wearing, hijab adorning Muslims jobs, comfort and acceptance in this 'shared' world- or send them back to where they once belong.
- The writer was a TESOL student from MARA College Seremban.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Speculations of "If"
I can fantasize that if I were born in the 60s, I would turn out to be a Trekkie aka Star Trek freak.
IF I were born during the age of antiquity, I would want to be the disciples of Aristotle .
IF I were born during French renaissance, I would be a socialist-atheist.
IF I were born during the stone ages, I would die of hunger or killed by a beast.
IF I were born in Medieval Europe or Dark Ages, I strangely believe that I would go and live in a Christian monastery, faithful to Lord Jesus' ministry.
IF I were born during the ages of heathen, I would worship Hera instead of Zeus.
If I were living in the times of the patriarchs , I would be among those punished by Lord Yahweh aka El aka Allah and my tribes forever engraved in the holy books of religions.
IF I were living in the age of Martin Luther, I suppose I would go to the extreme and become Anabaptist.
IF I were a student at the medieval University of Paris, I would go the theology faculty and be a student for Saint Thomas Aquinas.
The problem is,
I am sad to say that if I were living during Prophet Muhammad's time, maybe I'll be the one who wage war on him, I would be the one who throw stone at him in Taif, I would be the one who claims that he is nobody but an insane poet, I would be the one whom name spoken in Qunut Nazilah, for right now, out of the fantasy and looking to the the reality , I feel like an enemy to God.
But life's is not about the if. The if is nothing but a portrayal of dissatisfaction of life. Egoism can be moral. And moral is fluid.
But reality is reality. And dream is dream. It is distinguishable, but can never be separated. For dream is a gateway to the scorching facts of reality, and reality is the gateway of deciphering the dream. All dwells around the souls of man.
IF I were born during the age of antiquity, I would want to be the disciples of Aristotle .
IF I were born during French renaissance, I would be a socialist-atheist.
IF I were born during the stone ages, I would die of hunger or killed by a beast.
IF I were born in Medieval Europe or Dark Ages, I strangely believe that I would go and live in a Christian monastery, faithful to Lord Jesus' ministry.
IF I were born during the ages of heathen, I would worship Hera instead of Zeus.
If I were living in the times of the patriarchs , I would be among those punished by Lord Yahweh aka El aka Allah and my tribes forever engraved in the holy books of religions.
IF I were living in the age of Martin Luther, I suppose I would go to the extreme and become Anabaptist.
IF I were a student at the medieval University of Paris, I would go the theology faculty and be a student for Saint Thomas Aquinas.
The problem is,
I am sad to say that if I were living during Prophet Muhammad's time, maybe I'll be the one who wage war on him, I would be the one who throw stone at him in Taif, I would be the one who claims that he is nobody but an insane poet, I would be the one whom name spoken in Qunut Nazilah, for right now, out of the fantasy and looking to the the reality , I feel like an enemy to God.
But life's is not about the if. The if is nothing but a portrayal of dissatisfaction of life. Egoism can be moral. And moral is fluid.
But reality is reality. And dream is dream. It is distinguishable, but can never be separated. For dream is a gateway to the scorching facts of reality, and reality is the gateway of deciphering the dream. All dwells around the souls of man.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Went Back To Ipoh.
Megat Naqib and me go a long way in our friendship. We were friends since we were Form One student in Sekolah Menengah Agama Izzuddin Shah Ipoh. To say we were in a clique back then. It isn't just me and him, there are Syafiq and Saiful Aqmal and a few more.
We weren't best friend in any sense. We were simply friends. Because we are.
Megat was the one who truly suggested that I should apply for MRSM for my upper secondary school studies. Beforehand, MRSM is totally out of the question. My grades in Arabic and Islamic I'dadi syllabus were excellent at that time. My ustaz says that I have a leniency on Islamic discipline and if I want I should continue my studies in Egypt or Jordan . Even if I were to leave SIS at all, it should be KISAS or Sekolah Menengah Agama Persekutuan at least. But after some deep thought, I applied MRSM . And God how my life is different due to this choice I've made. Megat then transferred to MRSM Taiping and I went to MRSM Muadzam Shah Pahang. And then I found myself in MRSM Taiping after half a year there.
Megat knows all the bad things about me.Obviously we judge other people. I myself are one of that. But he took it and never made a fuss about it. We respect each other like that. Judge all you want, but social friends we will still be. Cool.
I don't really treat Megat and any good friends of mine that often, unlike how most of my friends would describe me ( aside from freak and weird) . I never treat them dinner or anything. We will simply hang out together.
I don't treat friends who I truly, really consider as friends. I know them well enough not to invest and shower them with materials. I usually only treat people I considered as needful friends , for the sake of my social and educational life. I believe in mutualism. I know I need them for doing things later on, so I do invest on things.
But for Megat and few handful ones, not really.
What I believe is that in a friendship or even relationship, what we need to know is our limit and our distance. I do give I believe the utmost care or bother acts for friends I've known. I am rather selfish but I always know that being attentive to others will benefit me later.I like to help people- somehow. But it is probably because I always need to boost my ego. I see little point of being that with Megat and some long time friends of mine. They know me. Hate me or not I am what I am.
And so it's always nice to return to Ipoh, driving through my old schools and realize that I'd go a long time. Gone were the days where I was naive and innocent and full of spirit of inquiry. I choose this path. I myself brought myself up to this point. It was full of the love of friends and people who cried for me, who offered me the fruits of Evil, who tempted me with Pleasure, one slapped me at my face and cried afterwards because I was in terrible state of despair, some of who still hangs around with me knowing who I am, or who just looking pitifully when I am in my isolation and loneliness period.
I've felt extremely alone once in my school life in Ipoh. So far that moment is the loneliest experience I've felt. Every now and then , whenever I feel sad I will always remind myself, "remember Ipoh."
And sure I do.
We weren't best friend in any sense. We were simply friends. Because we are.
Megat was the one who truly suggested that I should apply for MRSM for my upper secondary school studies. Beforehand, MRSM is totally out of the question. My grades in Arabic and Islamic I'dadi syllabus were excellent at that time. My ustaz says that I have a leniency on Islamic discipline and if I want I should continue my studies in Egypt or Jordan . Even if I were to leave SIS at all, it should be KISAS or Sekolah Menengah Agama Persekutuan at least. But after some deep thought, I applied MRSM . And God how my life is different due to this choice I've made. Megat then transferred to MRSM Taiping and I went to MRSM Muadzam Shah Pahang. And then I found myself in MRSM Taiping after half a year there.
Megat knows all the bad things about me.Obviously we judge other people. I myself are one of that. But he took it and never made a fuss about it. We respect each other like that. Judge all you want, but social friends we will still be. Cool.
I don't really treat Megat and any good friends of mine that often, unlike how most of my friends would describe me ( aside from freak and weird) . I never treat them dinner or anything. We will simply hang out together.
I don't treat friends who I truly, really consider as friends. I know them well enough not to invest and shower them with materials. I usually only treat people I considered as needful friends , for the sake of my social and educational life. I believe in mutualism. I know I need them for doing things later on, so I do invest on things.
But for Megat and few handful ones, not really.
What I believe is that in a friendship or even relationship, what we need to know is our limit and our distance. I do give I believe the utmost care or bother acts for friends I've known. I am rather selfish but I always know that being attentive to others will benefit me later.I like to help people- somehow. But it is probably because I always need to boost my ego. I see little point of being that with Megat and some long time friends of mine. They know me. Hate me or not I am what I am.
And so it's always nice to return to Ipoh, driving through my old schools and realize that I'd go a long time. Gone were the days where I was naive and innocent and full of spirit of inquiry. I choose this path. I myself brought myself up to this point. It was full of the love of friends and people who cried for me, who offered me the fruits of Evil, who tempted me with Pleasure, one slapped me at my face and cried afterwards because I was in terrible state of despair, some of who still hangs around with me knowing who I am, or who just looking pitifully when I am in my isolation and loneliness period.
I've felt extremely alone once in my school life in Ipoh. So far that moment is the loneliest experience I've felt. Every now and then , whenever I feel sad I will always remind myself, "remember Ipoh."
And sure I do.
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