Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi.

When I was 14 or15, I'm not sure, I was terribly lonely. God means nothing to me. Islam to me is tragic. Religion to me is stupid. I prayed 5 times a day because of that religious school's rules, I fast almost every Monday and Thursday due to my repentance of not believing in the Lord, I read Quran diligently, I frequent myself visiting the school library and read any books that caught my eyes. The first book I caught my eyes upon was an Islamic story of the Spanish Muslim kingdom, Under The Shadow of the Pomegranates by Tariq Ali. Then I remember borrowing a copy of Ihya Ulumuddin by Hujjatul Islam Imam Ghazali. It's very didactic yet very full of akhlak dan propagation of virtue.

Funny is the fact that I read, pray, fast all of those years out of my feelings of guilt of not being able to understand my God. No wonder I sinned.

I continue my self-loathing life . Life holds no significance, anyway.

Then I stumbled upon one book at the far corner in the Library. It was a book that discusses the Science in Quran and Bible, written by a Christian Professor . I hate science, so I don't give any particular attention to it but as I gazed at the last page on that thick book, there's a prayer quoted.

By Saint Francis of Assisi.

From a prayer of Christian monk, a foreign religion then I believe that there must be God. Because this man prays with such hope it's so sad that there aren't any God. But I happen to not remember what are actually said. Only recently, when I read the news of Mohamed Elbaradei, former IAEA ( Atomic Energy Agency ) chief resignation, I remember such incident . In his resignation speech, he ended it by quoting the prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi. Oh very refreshing!

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.