I Want To Live Alone, Could I?

It's hard to live together, that I know.
I was blessed with a pretty much simplistic combination of dorm mates or room mates .

In SIS the hostels were big dorms, where in a dorm there was about 30-40 students sharing twin beds. It was vibrant, lively, happening. Complete lack of privacy, but hey, we were all in the situation together. After all, those times were precious. I still remember clearly that one of my best moments in life so far were the weekend nights where we little kids ( young teenagers) slept reasonably late and we spent the whole time laughing and talking about some silly stuffs- teachers, little bits and pieces about our seniors, gossips. Those were great times- and I wouldn't mind trading all of my life right now to relive again those innocent moments, where I was still young, skinny and carefree, Budin was still chubby, Kemey are as loud as ever, Megat always been made fun of, in a good way. Then they are countless others. Some dorm mates I knew during my childhood years, some I become their enemies, some I have love-hate relationships with.  

Those guys are one of my earliest friends. I don't really have that close a friend during my childhood. I rarely go outside. I used to just watch TV in the evenings and since my house was quite far from my friends' houses, I didn't get to play often. So, meeting Budin, Kemey, Megat, Syafiq was a blessing for me. I know I messed up a lot in life, but them,  Megat, especially knows my good sides and bad sides, and in them I retain my belief in everything that would matter.

In MRSM Muadzam Shah I live in a four-bed room with two other guys. Akmal , one of them, is a very nice guy. He's tall and looks very scary, but he's actually is a very friendly and I have to add, a very intelligent guy. Last time I checked, now he's in UK studying medicine. The other guy's doing accountancy now.Me? TESOL. Wow. Nobody would expect that.

In MRSM Taiping, super great. My F4 year I had a cube mate.A cube is like a portion of a dorm when two beds are grouped together by partitions. Then the next year he transferred back to his old school. He didn't fancy boarding life, it seems. Big deal. He went to VI and that's the last thing I heard about him. I have to confess that I didn't even bother. All that he ever did were whining on how stressful MRSM life is- as if I couldn't know it myself. Therefore, my Form Five year is a 'loner' year. No cube mate. Alone. But hey, the cube doesn't have any door anyway. It's still practically a big dorm. I didn't really hang out with my old cube mate anyway all those times, I was not cool enough to be with his clique.

KMS was fine. Faizi and Hariz are cool. They might have hated me for my quirky and annoying attitude, but so far they haven't expressed it to me. I won't be surprised actually. In my senior year, Juju was amazing. It was nothing special, though. But it was fun, in many ways.

Living alone was a new thing here in Auckland- and I like it. No drama, which is a downside- but hey, life's not perfect if it's all perfect.

I have to admit , I'm not so sure about living together next year. A voice in my mind keeps telling me to be brave and just go on living alone. Less hassle. Less trouble. Living in orchard here with these people show me that I have so many problems . I lack commitment, I'm pretty much selfish, and I really need my space. I'm so used to lock myself up whenever I feel uneasy or depressed these days but it's almost impossible back here at the orchard. 12 guys crammed into one house. Sharing a pillow with Faizi. Eating and cooking together. Trying not be rude. Don't get angry unnecessarily. Unnecessarily hard.

Weird, this is exactly how Juju wrote in his blog last year, haha, the thing about living alone, LOL.

This is now my turn indeed, haha. 

Kerja.

Merry Christmas to my Christian friends. Happy Boxing day to the others. Reload your Eftpos, bring out your credit card, practice your card swiping moves, we gonna shopping hard!

Hohoho.

I'm currently at Dunedin.Been working quite hard these days at the orchard. Apple tree thinning and cherry picking.

Life's been great. I miss Auckland, still. Well, all you would do for experience. Central Otago is beautiful! I wake up everyday to such splendid scenery.Beautiful mountains, blue skies, lush, green trees. And it's just 2 hours from Queenstown~

I'm all bruised and "tanned" from all this job- but hey, I got paid for them, so no big deal. I hope you guys are having an awesome holiday as well.

Till then, I need my sleep. Been working from 6.30 am to 4.30 pm everyday here, huhu. Bye.

Regards,

WanKhai.

Sent from my iPod

Baitul Muslim

To me, baitul muslim is beyond a marriage between a man and a woman. An important feature, yes, but not necessarily the only one.

From my own personal understanding, it is beyond two muslim individuals who are in progress towards the way of Allah; establishing a sacred covenant between them and the God, having families that strive to fulfill the path to the Heavenly Kingdom that is nigh. It is also more than a mere declaration of "thy kingdom come, thy will be done" from this religious contract made between this man and this woman.

We have to understand that a marriage is not a simple act of establishing connections between a man and a woman- in the words of our prophet, it is joining two big families- the bride's family and the groom's family.

As a man myself, I understand the need for marriage. After all, we were only young once. And we have urges. I also realise the almost natural inclinations of a human to desire for offsprings- the ones that will take your name, lead their life, have families themselves. I also realise the desire for a human to have a companion that he/she can share all his/her thoughts on, who can share all his/her fears, hopes,passion- something that only a loving wife or husband could provide. Friends come and go, but a loving, honest husband or wife, though a rarity these days, once we get a hold on them, your life could be so much fuller.

As an eldest brother, I always have this panicky dreams about my siblings. It is as if they are preparing myself for worst case scenarios.Sometimes I have a nightmare about how my sisters have married terrible, cheating guys and have a messy divorce. Having no shelter and no jobs, they have to resort to me, since I'm the eldest brother, especially if my parents are long gone- which will definitely happen to us humankind. Then I dreamt on how intolerant my wife is ( dreams are such a tease- why can't they make me remember my wife's FACE?) towards me helping my siblings.

Sometimes I wonder how much paranoid I can be indeed.

But the moral of the dreams I would say is that how important it is for my future wife to accept the fact that my family might be so dysfunctional to her eyes or her families'- yet she can embrace them altogether indiscriminately .

Sometimes love is not enough. Given enough frustration, walla, divorce. I've known quite a few people who love deeply for each other yet could no longer live with each other due to some external and internal reasons. 

I think a true baitul muslim fulfils those criteria. It is not some romantic notion of family and marriage. Love is not everything. Trust, responsibility, family bonding, religious importance, spiritual preparation and fulfilment- all contribute to this wonderful world of Islamic marriage- something that in history our Prophet had shown remarkably well , especially with his wife, Khadijah and the later wives.

So, to those who read this, no worries, I am not going to encourage you guys to get married, sometimes we can begin it with many hypothetical questions " I have a brother who is going to get married, what should I do?", " I have a friend who have desires to get married, what should I do?" , " I want to get married, what should I do?".

Then think this , " do you want to marry your own self, the one with your current state of discipline, routine, faith? What should you do?"

Salam.

p/s: On the other hand, I urge my Auckland friends to get married and have their walimah in Auckland. I can therefore have my free nasi minyak for lunch on that particular day. * wink wink*

Dunedin.

I am currently in Dunedin, visiting friends, seeking out any jobs for this summer.
If I'm lucky , I get one. If not, God bless.
I might apply to be drug trial tester, even, if needs arises- if I fail to get any fruit picking job I wanted to. Haha.  4000 NZD for a three night stay and blood sample taken every hour, along with the possibility of brain injury, side effect to sperm, and the inability to have sex for three years- nah, sounds good enough. Huhu.

Yesterday, we walked around Dunedin. Me, Naim and his friend Azwan.

Beautiful place, this city. Peaceful. Much like Ipoh. Sleepy town, I mean- not about the food, I would say. This Malaysian side of me craves for roti canai for almost a year already. Gosh.

I might not be able to online frequently these days- I'm currently staying over at a friend's house, and looking at how expensive NZ internet is, I don't have the heart to stay online long. Even I ban myself from YouTube at the time being  . Wuuwuuu...

Please pray that I get a job , okay. Enjoy the holiday, y'alls~