Lord of the Rings.

"Sons of Gondor,of Rohan,my brothers!I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me.A day may come when the courage of men fails,when we forsake our friends,and break all bonds of fellowship;but it is not this day!An hour of woe,and shattered shields,when the Age of Men comes crashing down;but it is not this day!This day we fight!By all that you hold dear on this good earth,I bid you stand,Men of West!"

The Little Match Girl by Hans Christian Andersen.

Most terribly cold it was; it snowed, and was nearly quite dark, and evening-- the last evening of the year. In this cold and darkness there went along the street a poor little girl, bareheaded, and with naked feet. When she left home she had slippers on, it is true; but what was the good of that? They were very large slippers, which her mother had hitherto worn; so large were they; and the poor little thing lost them as she scuffled away across the street, because of two carriages that rolled by dreadfully fast.

One slipper was nowhere to be found; the other had been laid hold of by an urchin, and off he ran with it; he thought it would do capitally for a cradle when he some day or other should have children himself. So the little maiden walked on with her tiny naked feet, that were quite red and blue from cold. She carried a quantity of matches in an old apron, and she held a bundle of them in her hand. Nobody had bought anything of her the whole livelong day; no one had given her a single farthing.

She crept along trembling with cold and hunger--a very picture of sorrow, the poor little thing!

The flakes of snow covered her long fair hair, which fell in beautiful curls around her neck; but of that, of course, she never once now thought. From all the windows the candles were gleaming, and it smelt so deliciously of roast goose, for you know it was New Year's Eve; yes, of that she thought.

In a corner formed by two houses, of which one advanced more than the other, she seated herself down and cowered together. Her little feet she had drawn close up to her, but she grew colder and colder, and to go home she did not venture, for she had not sold any matches and could not bring a farthing of money: from her father she would certainly get blows, and at home it was cold too, for above her she had only the roof, through which the wind whistled, even though the largest cracks were stopped up with straw and rags.

Her little hands were almost numbed with cold. Oh! a match might afford her a world of comfort, if she only dared take a single one out of the bundle, draw it against the wall, and warm her fingers by it. She drew one out. "Rischt!" how it blazed, how it burnt! It was a warm, bright flame, like a candle, as she held her hands over it: it was a wonderful light. It seemed really to the little maiden as though she were sitting before a large iron stove, with burnished brass feet and a brass ornament at top. The fire burned with such blessed influence; it warmed so delightfully. The little girl had already stretched out her feet to warm them too; but--the small flame went out, the stove vanished: she had only the remains of the burnt-out match in her hand.

She rubbed another against the wall: it burned brightly, and where the light fell on the wall, there the wall became transparent like a veil, so that she could see into the room. On the table was spread a snow-white tablecloth; upon it was a splendid porcelain service, and the roast goose was steaming famously with its stuffing of apple and dried plums. And what was still more capital to behold was, the goose hopped down from the dish, reeled about on the floor with knife and fork in its breast, till it came up to the poor little girl; when--the match went out and nothing but the thick, cold, damp wall was left behind. She lighted another match. Now there she was sitting under the most magnificent Christmas tree: it was still larger, and more decorated than the one which she had seen through the glass door in the rich merchant's house.

Thousands of lights were burning on the green branches, and gaily-colored pictures, such as she had seen in the shop-windows, looked down upon her. The little maiden stretched out her hands towards them when--the match went out. The lights of the Christmas tree rose higher and higher, she saw them now as stars in heaven; one fell down and formed a long trail of fire.

"Someone is just dead!" said the little girl; for her old grandmother, the only person who had loved her, and who was now no more, had told her, that when a star falls, a soul ascends to God.

She drew another match against the wall: it was again light, and in the lustre there stood the old grandmother, so bright and radiant, so mild, and with such an expression of love.

"Grandmother!" cried the little one. "Oh, take me with you! You go away when the match burns out; you vanish like the warm stove, like the delicious roast goose, and like the magnificent Christmas tree!" And she rubbed the whole bundle of matches quickly against the wall, for she wanted to be quite sure of keeping her grandmother near her. And the matches gave such a brilliant light that it was brighter than at noon-day: never formerly had the grandmother been so beautiful and so tall. She took the little maiden, on her arm, and both flew in brightness and in joy so high, so very high, and then above was neither cold, nor hunger, nor anxiety--they were with God.

But in the corner, at the cold hour of dawn, sat the poor girl, with rosy cheeks and with a smiling mouth, leaning against the wall--frozen to death on the last evening of the old year. Stiff and stark sat the child there with her matches, of which one bundle had been burnt. "She wanted to warm herself," people said. No one had the slightest suspicion of what beautiful things she had seen; no one even dreamed of the splendor in which, with her grandmother she had entered on the joys of a new year.

Marriage

To me, marriage is a good thing. It's beautiful. It is majestic. It's one of the thing that makes life more perfect for all people.

Hurm.
I bet people won't actually understand what I am trying to say here.

If you think that this post is about my feeling of wanting to get married , you are dead wrong. If you think this is kind of an advice from me so that people should get married, you are also dead wrong.

Good night.

R.I.P Elisabeth Sladen (Sarah Jane Smith)

You were the best Doctor Who's companion to me. I only watch the rebooted version of Doctor Who, but in just the few episodes you were there, you were absolutely amazing.

We never knew that you were battling with cancer, and still you've given us such a wonderful Sarah Jane Smith as the Doctor's companion, and such a great hero to the children in Sarah Jane Adventures.

Rest in peace , Lis Sladen. We Whovians will greatly miss you.

Modernism versus Postmodernism

I'd love to point out that while some of us still believe that we are still living in the paradigm of modernism , I on the other hand greatly favor the idea of the current moment as the beginning of postmodernism already- if not, the transition in progress.

La Belle Dame Sans Merci

by John Keats, 1820.

Me

My perspectives about life change over the years. It comes from discussing with friends, attending talks and seminars, my own reading and some are just some social phenomenon I observed and they unconsciously changed my whole perspectives on things.

However, since Form 1 , there is one idea that still hasn't changed. Very stubborn idea. Brings me one hell of a nightmare. It follows me through different kinds of schools and environment I've been into, yet consistently stays the same.

I hardly believe in God.

God exists or not is hardly my concern. It is just convenient to believe in a God. Unfortunately, it backfires too: I see God in everything, in all things sacred and profane, in all religions, in all that is violent and all that is bad, and all that humanity has fallen.

Maybe it arose from the childhood trauma, maybe it came from the feelings of alienation and despair I've felt throughout the years, or maybe it's just because of who I am.

I mean, obviously I freaked out about it. I was a nice guy back then. I was. Sometimes I even feel like I'm still the nice guy I was. *SOMETIMES*.

Those years are periods of guilt and temptation. I consciously 'punish' myself with fasting almost all time hoping that eventually I get and accept the argument of God. I've never missed a kuliah in surau. I went to see the ustazs in their rooms. I even taught my neighbors reciting Quran . I was the one who taught my late grandmum shahadah during her moments of dying.Yet, hello, God? Not *really* buying it.

Honestly I feel like a two-faced creature.

Nevertheless, I don't want people to become like me. I've never so far encourage people to be rebellious or questioning or anything. I give people what they want to hear, what they need to hear. Most of the time it was never things that I believe in.

Let people live their easy life. Ignorance is bliss.

Faith is powerful. Sometimes some people only have faith left of them.
Why should I remove it from them, knowing that my life in itself is oft a walk on a lonely path in hope for the life I won't ever get?

Judas

New single by Lady Gaga. Really, really loving it.

On other news, this week is the Holy Week for Christians - the week where Jesus Christ had his last supper, betrayed by Judas, crucified, said the seven statements, embalmed, resurrected and ascended to Heaven.

Note to self: Don't play this song loudly in front of any devout Christian ( or non-religious but still sensitive believer),out of respect. Ignore people who hate Gaga. Ignore people who question your choice of music.

Happy Easter to the Christians or like me, a chocolate believer.

My English.

I think that my English is generally better now. Speaking-wise, might not be ( due to not really mingling around, I prefer to be alone anyway) , but the rest are much, much better. You know, at night,  when you have a dream where it was all in English, something must've changed right? 

By the way, I've decided to 'decorate' my room wall with all those brochures and tickets and memorabilia that I attend and found this year.

Those Slingshot brochures- our house's current internet provider. Two months of waiting, with all kinds of complication. Really deserve a place on my wall.
 A couple of theatre and mucical play tickets I've been and am going to this May. So far I've enjoyed all the shows especially Poor Boy by Matt Cameron/Tim Finn and the Importance of Being Earnest by Auckland Theatre Company.
ANZAC Day service- in case I forgot. " Lest we forget"- the motto. Cool. I really enjoy ANZAC day, you feel those sense of community often absent in a developed nation.

Heh. If only I start collecting all these things last year, I would have all my walls filled up now. But never mind, it's never too late to do all these things.

Self- Belief

We will believe what we want to believe. We can fool ourselves with biased observations, distorted facts , erratic arguments, but in the end, as I said before, people will eventually believe what they want to believe.

That is the power of faith.

And this works universally- all people, from all gender, races, creeds and ideologies.

How many people anyway these days maintain a neutral approach in life? I don't, for example. I have a set of bias that I internalise in order to smoothly integrate into my very nosy society, for example. Sometimes I talked about things that I don't really believe in- because sometimes you respect someone you know and you don't want to offend them .

Yet sometimes, I openly talk about my opinions, things that I believe in though it clashes with the convention- because I truly respect them, and because of this sense of honoring and respecting them, I want them to know me as I am, not as what I usually portray myself to be.

And if they really do respect me as well, they'll be fine about it. I don't want people to actually agree with me anyway, I just want them to know that in this world, there are many opinions available in life. In the eyes of your God, it might matter,but we can't expect things that your God deemed right to be easily accepted by other people- especially if it's laden with anger and emotions and self-depreciating sentiments.

To Learn To Respect Disagreements.

I know that to an extent, I am a humanist. A secular or religious humanist, I cannot say, since although I'm very comfortable with the idea of secularity, I am not yet not to an extent deny myself the capacity of believing in some kind of Creator.

And I'm some sort of a Muslim. I pray, I read Quran, I fast , I tend to have a certain bias on Islamic perspectives and so on.

But looking all those people who see themselves as humanist,  liberal, open-minded, critical- it's not very hard to see that some of them do inhibit some unnecessary hostility feelings towards Muslims.

Well, I hope that I'm not one of these people. I've has ustazs as my uncles, most of my good friends belong to a number of evangelistic-like Muslim organizations, drawing heavily from the wisdom of Banna or Qutb.

They are wonderful, awesome people. They aren't some blind and uneducated Muslims the world are trying to portray them. In fact, some of them are VERY intelligent, fairly successful , and I can say, lead a happy life.

A couple of them actually are being truly respectful with all my opinions that sometimes clash with the taken-for-granted views in the Islamic world. And I truly admire them for that. You see, it takes courage to believe in something, but they believe in something but they don't condemn people who believes in something else. 

They believe fully in Islamic system and it's ability to cure the society. On the other hand, I see society as a work in progress. But, that's it.

There is no right or wrong in the conditions of society- granted sufficient amount of knowledge, efficient management and productive dialectical reasoning amongst its members, the society is advancing infinitely. A more liberal society or a more conservative society are just social phenomenons that reflect the people within that society and how they interact with the revolving ideas and aspiring powers available in their surroundings.

I cannot say what the society would be in 50 years time, and I can't even decide that a particular way is the only way the society must go. Sure, we can plan. We can try to campaign or work towards our ideal society, but in the 50 years time, it was the members of that future era who have the right to dictate their life and how their society should function.

The Islamists, as I would call them generally, have a grand plan for society. Idealistic, nevertheless, but ideals are what make human minds so fascinating, right? Us fragile humans and our absolutely grand ideals. I do not necessarily agree with them, but I believe they have the right to propagate their beliefs. Unless they're start killing people- which is not the case here- I would argue.

I don't support this kind of evangelistic Islam, but I don't go shout at them with raged emotions.

 Humanity is a work in progress, and so shall it be forever.

Sejarah Islam

Saya berpandangan bahawa ada sebab teks sejarah pelajar2 Malaysia agak condong kepada sejarah Islam- sebab politik, hasil tidak langsung islamisasi peringkat nasional . Apatah lagi Tanah Melayu pernah mempunyai banyak Kerajaan Islam. Sejarah itu milik para penguasa, kata seorang penulis. Sejarah itu tugasnya memenangkan benda yang mungkin menangnya tipis, dan merendahkan benda yang mungkin malunya besar. Memang sedih bila sejarah jadi mainan politik, tapi sejarawan yang tulen , Islami atau sekularis perlu sedar bahawa menulis sejarah lampau ialah suatu amanah. Menggahkan benda yang tidak apa2 ataupun merendahkan jasa orang lain- apa baiknya pada tamadun?

Budi Bahasa Budaya Kita

: )

......dan akhirnya bila diujarkan kepada sang skeptisis, maka dipulangkan , "apa itu  budaya? "

You bloody skeptic. Stop being so critical.

Syiah Bukan Islam. Betullah.

Memang, Syiah bukan Islam.

Tapi Sunni pun bukan Islam.

Kedua-duanya hanyalah mazhab-mazhab dalam Islam.

Kalaulah Syiah bukan Muslim, makanya beberapa tahun yang lalu, OIC ini diterajui orang kafir.
Kalaulah mereka kafir lahanat, takyahlah bangga mengaku banyak Muslim meneraju sains dahulukala. Checkla sendiri buku-buku falsafah Ibnu Sina dan Al-Biruni, misalan.

Cakap memang senang, memang mudah mengkafirkan orang lain.

Samalah macam kata-kata berbaur rasisme senang sahaja dilontarkan hatta daripada orang-orang yang baik-baik sendiri. Disgusting.

Hadis sahih Sunni ada disebutkan: ' barangsiapa menuduh seseorang sebagai kafir, samada yang tertuduh atau yang dituduh tu kafir'.

Fikir-fikirlah semula. Dunia ni memang senang je tuduh menuduh. Orang Islam khabarnya ada akhirat. Ada berjuta-juta orang Syiah yang kau tuduh kafir wei.

Kalau sesama Muslim pun camni, nak marah apanya kalau orang cakap Muslims are terrorist?

I myself would agree!

Muslims are terrorist!

Kalau marah fikir-fikirlah.Christians seronok ke cakap dorang kompem masuk neraka? Kau ingat
Syiah seronok tiba-tiba mereka jadi orang kafir?

That's why I see institutionalised religions as ridiculous. Self-religious bigots, the lots of them.

Please disagree with me. Actually, if you're the so-called "TRUE" Muslims you will disagree with me.

I don't believe in God that much anyway to simply accept the "God's
law" reason . Give wiser defense please : )

Regards,

WK

Sent from my iPod

Syiah Bukan Islam. Betullah.

Memang, Syiah bukan Islam.

Tapi Sunni pun bukan Islam.

Kedua-duanya hanyalah mazhab-mazhab dalam Islam.

Kalaulah Syiah bukan Muslim, makanya beberapa tahun yang lalu, OIC ini diterajui orang kafir.
Kalaulah mereka kafir lahanat, takyahlah bangga mengaku banyak Muslim meneraju sains dahulukala. Checkla sendiri buku-buku falsafah Ibnu Sina dan Al-Biruni, misalan.

Cakap memang senang, memang mudah mengkafirkan orang lain.

Samalah macam kata-kata berbaur rasisme senang sahaja dilontarkan hatta daripada orang-orang yang baik-baik sendiri. Disgusting.

Hadis sahih Sunni ada disebutkan: ' barangsiapa menuduh seseorang sebagai kafir, samada yang tertuduh atau yang dituduh tu kafir'.

Fikir-fikirlah semula. Dunia ni memang senang je tuduh menuduh. Orang Islam khabarnya ada akhirat. Ada berjuta-juta orang Syiah yang kau tuduh kafir wei.

Kalau sesama Muslim pun camni, nak marah apanya kalau orang cakap Muslims are terrorist?

I myself would agree!

Muslims are terrorist!

Kalau marah fikir-fikirlah.Christians seronok ke cakap dorang kompem masuk neraka? Kau ingat
Syiah seronok tiba-tiba mereka jadi orang kafir?

That's why I see institutionalised religions as ridiculous. Self-religious bigots, the lots of them.

Please disagree with me. Actually, if you're the so-called "TRUE" Muslims you will disagree with me.

I don't believe in God that much anyway to simply accept the "God's
law" reason . Give wiser defense please : )

Regards,

WK

Sent from my iPod