A Recollection of Thoughts- A Monologue

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

God,
again,
I invoke Your Divine Name.

God,
You have seen me went through the Narrow Path of Grey.
You have seen me distancing Myself from You.
You have seen me feeding the Succubus.
You have seen me Rage against The Angels.
You have seen me in grave Uncertainty.
You have given me an insight of The Instrument.
You have shown me The Bare Views of Men.
You have shown me The Darkest of The Dark.
You revealed to me The Fangs.
You allow Skepticism nurtured in me.
O God Do I Need More?

God,
For all of my life,
You let me experience.
Even for a split second,
How can I forget Your Overwhelming Presence At That Time?

God,
These Days.
You know what happened these days that I need not say it loud.
O Lord, reveal this, reveal this to me.
I beg to You.

God, You shown me something.
Are those my Destiny?
Is it will?
So why do You still left Me with the One?
Do You want Me to start the Demolition or You want Your Proof, The Time works its way?
God,
or is this just the Nightmare of Satan?
That I should just forget and just lead my own life?

You say,
You prohibit gambling.
But here I am,
Bowing to You,
Gambling with My Destiny.

Lord,
If really,
I am to walk that Path,
God,
O Allah,
Be There When I Need You,
Be There When I Thought I do not Need You.

God,
Forgive my sins.
God.
Forgive my Faults.
I called you repeatedly with my Voice.
But God,
I failed to glue Your Divine Presence to my Heart.
So, forgive me.

God,
Thank You for These.
Thank You for This Life,
Thank You for This Form.

Bless the Prophets,
and Bless the Family
and Bless all Believers.

Amiin.