Social Justice

Discussing social justice in education and multiculturalism in class today. Some theorists says that in regards to education, multiculturalism is a recipe for disaster because it's hard to accommodate everyone's perspectives and opinions in shaping education. Some, however believe homogeneity as precursor to stagnancy.My lecturer directly said that to me, Malaysia never even seriously strive for multiculturalism in education and social justice. =P

A Random Thought out of Nowhere

I think the thing about actors and actresses is that we tend to associate them with their best character they ever played. Hugo Weaving is awesome; he's Agent Smith in the Matrix, voiced Megatron in Transformers,V in V for Vendetta and most importantly to me, Elrond in LOTR. Therefore I got the scare of my life when I saw him as a drag queen in 1994's The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Fabulously shocking!

V For Vendetta- an awesome film that explores the idea of authority, power and anarchism. 

The Matrix trilogy. I found the first two films to be of quite good , the last one, meh.

 

Hugo Weaving as Elrond in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Cool, caring father. Sigh, elves sure have it easy- being wise, fair and all.  

Now, I discover another side of Hugo Weaving I've never realised existed before. He sure was a versatile actor- daring to take on such a non-conformist role. Granted, this was 1994, when he was still particularly young- it's good to explore various roles. He reminds me of James Franco ( Spiderman, Milk, Pineapple Express, 127 Hours)  and Joseph Gordon Levitt here ( 10 Things I Hate About You, Mysterious Skins, Latter Days, 500 Days of Summer, Inception).All of them are not afraid to take up roles that are somewhat controversial, proving their acting versatibility and their talent charisma. 

This blog post is really random. Good night.

Tyranny

"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive"

                                                           ( Lewis, 1952, as cited in O'Connor, 2007, p. 140)

Apa guna jadi "baik" selama sebulan?

I read in Twitter last two days: "apa guna jadi baik selama sebulan, waktu-waktu lain aku sama ja ? " ( atau perkataan yang lebih kurang sama intipatinya) daripada seorang blogger Malaysia yang agak dikenali ramai .

I'm not trying to say religious thing here,nor I'm trying to dispute much about the blogger's opinion anyway, but I just want to say to myself : " tak berguna ke jadi baik selama sebulan, at least, dalam setahun eh?"

Personally, as an average guy, I'm just being calculative : being horribly bad for 12 months versus being horribly bad for 11 months and a *bit* nice for a month. As a Muslim, we know all thing about hisab and mizan- it's perkara ghaib- one of the core pillars in iman is to believe in one. This is not the issue of Ramadan ada kesan ke apa. Personally, I know roughly how I spent my Ramadan- I am, we are at liberty in controlling, managing my/our Ramadan. I'm not gonna go all *regretful* or anything about how I spent Ramadan my whole life, I had chosen the way I want to spent all the time . We are basically all like that, and hence since it is highly manageable, ada kesan tak ada kesan is all about us anyway.

Whatever.

You want to stay the same, sure, please do. Be whoever you think you are. You want to be better, sure, please do. Human we are. In everything we need motivation. Nak kahwin pun nak kena ada motivasi these days.

Salam Ramadan, kalian.

My Carefree Attitude.

In many things I am fussy.

But there is one thing which I am quite carefree: faith.

Religion doesn't really fascinate me in the way the study of religion is. I am a Muslim who doesn't really care about God. Sometimes I think He exists, sometimes I just don't want to think about it. For all I care, it's not really the truthfulness of any religion that fascinates me, it's how these religions functions and how they affect the society.

Well done.

I would like to say I'm pleased with the service done by Pejabat Pendaftaran Daerah di Selayang last two weeks when I'm bringing my sister to do her IC as well as updating mine. Really friendly staffs, and quick , convenient service.All done in 10 minutes, on a Monday. I remember my time when I waited hours to do my IC at Ipoh.

Those were dark times.

A Thing Called Self

Human, we can never escape the fact that selfishness is a norm for us.
Selflessness, instead, is a rarity and of value.

So many times we use " I" in our lives- in our thinking, and in our actions. This is our self-concept. Our selves are so important to us. To the more religious people, the existence of "soul" makes each individual entities so precious, so...tempted.

Is thinking about one's own self wrong?

I never said that, and I will never ever imply anything with that kind of sentiment.

This blog simply questions. It never provides answers, don't you realise? 

This is because People are so different I myself am never comfortable with one-size-fits-all attitude.

It depends on our own selves. How we make light with who we are. People can suggest this and that as the way you are supposed to live, to ascertain meanings in life , but it's us who make the call. Who chooses.

I have chosen mine. Right or wrong, it rarely matters to me. I've thought about it, and I've chosen it. There are many other options available, some easy breezy, some highly risky. I've chosen what I think I wanted to be, not something I should be. I blame my narcisstic, vain, and rebellious personality here. I embraced my relatively narcissistic attitude, my vain demeanor and my rebellious gene. And I've chosen.

Am I a better person now? Nah. Am I happy? Nah. I've been happier. But am I comfortable in my current skin? Relatively, yes.

A Thing Called Desire

When you are walking down a really dangerous path, a path between fantasy and reality, love and hate, acceptance and denial, truth and falsehood , self and others , light and darkness - you tend to have something to hold on to- because if not, you'll be gone, and lose yourself.

Some people say that it's your faith, it's your convictions..

your God.

some are most simplistic, rather than some abstract forms of consciousness, they argue that one should hold on to their families, their memories ....

The one who will continue to love you most , regardless of what happened to you down the journey.

Maybe they are all true. Maybe not. Who knows?

But firstly what is it with these desires to actually walking down such a dangerous and potentially meaningless path?

Desire.

For me, it's just desire. A sense of curiosity, a lamentation of life and its tragic idleness. An individual self seeking depths of water unattainable within the grounds of the current constructs of life circling humanity.

Trying to break the unbreakable. Unveil the unattainable mysteries.

Is it a fun journey? Hardly. It was lonely, full of deception, full of dilemma. Full of difficult choices.very confusing.

The "God" is the voices of "Satan", and the "Satan"'s God's.

Such is the peril of seeking an individualistic meaning of life. It's tragic attribute- very selfish is its nature.

" Just cut the crap. Your God has already prepared all the stuff. It's like an art teacher giving you all the right materials needed to do your drawing . You simply need to get one drawing board and color your canvas with them- a readily made canvas of "life" with readily given colors of "self"- what you want to do is your choice then.Color them all you want, but for the love of God, just simply obey your teacher's instruction!".

True, perhaps.

But then I am reminded that some people are indeed inclined to being anti-establishment. There might be reasons for them though. Then I think, am I one of them?

If I am one, then it matters. It is the statistical inevitability.

I am that naughty child who doesn't want to draw but forced to. Who cares if my art teacher gives me everything?

I just want to write.

Death ( Unannounced or Planned, no matter).

"My best companion is my decaying soul, my cherished loneliness, a bottle of sleeping pills and one God (among many versions) . I suspect the latter is slowly moving away. "


Good night.

Kecewa.

I always disappoint people.

Facebook status.

Actually, if I copy all my Facebook statuses in one day, I could already make one sufficiently long post for this blog, right? Haha.

I have ideas. I have tons of ideas. But they were simply "ideas". Not "grand ideas" that deserve much urgent need for me to ignore my assignments and write a long essay about the nature of society or those similarly boring topics. I know myself. I am just a mediocre university student studying TESOL. Not some kind of law or philosophy student.I'm friends with engineering and medic students , but can never become one of them. But hey, I don't feel inferior or anything. This is my destiny.

Anyways..........

My Facebook statuses are actually responses to things that I see, hear or what I read from the online news or discussion websites. Most of them are direct responses. I read them, then I simply write a response about it on Facebook. I know some people complain that I write too many statuses per day. Sorry. Do hide my status if you want. I can't help it. I know some people hate politics, but I think I need to share the news about politics of our country or the country I'm living in. I truly live to the idea of "sharing is caring"- only my sharing is mere links to websites. Oh, and whenever you see me putting links to songs or drama series that I like, they are purely for personal enjoyment. Oi, I'm still a 21-year-old lad , of all things.

This is the last academic week of this semester. Tests and assignments due! Haish. All the best to people who have tests and all. You know who you guys are. And you especially, I may not love you, but I deeply care for you. Stay strong for me, because I need you more than you need me, and it's the truth. 

I end my blog post today with a saying by a famous philosopher, Rousseau, and what he said actually mock all that I argue up above. Hey, forgive me for being critical of myself. Said Rosseau: 

Généralement, les gens qui savant peu parlent beaucoup, et les gens qui savant beaucoup parlent peu.
Generally speaking, the people who know little speak a lot and the people who know a lot speak little.



Good night, everyone.

Glee. Gaga. Google.

Roughly 3 more days before the season 2 finale of Glee. Big Bang Theory season finale is last week, so did How I Met Your Mother season 6. Thank the universe Doctor Who is still here.

Do What Your Heart Sings.

I.
Blow, blow, thou winter wind,
Thou art not so unkind
As man's ingratitude;
Thy tooth is not so keen,
Because thou art not seen,
Although thy breath be rude.
Heigh-ho! sing heigh-ho! unto the green holly:
Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly:
Then, heigh-ho, the holly!
This life is most jolly.

II.
Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky,
That dost not bite so nigh
As benefits forgot:
Though thou the waters warp,
Thy sting is not so sharp
As friend remember'd not.
Heigh-ho! sing, heigh-ho!

As You Like It , Act II Scene VII

I was glad.

THE Procession of the Bride

I was glad when they said unto me: We will go into the house of the Lord.
Our feet shall stand in thy gates: O Jerusalem.
Jerusalem is builded as a city: that is at unity in itself.
O pray for the peace of Jerusalem: they shall prosper that love thee.
Peace be within thy walls: and plenteousness within thy palaces.

Charles Hubert Hastings Parry
Psalm 122: 1–3, 6–7

Obsession.

I have this crazy obsession over being in the middle.

Some people do eventually realise that I'm not really as secular or as Islamic as I was thought to be or should be.

Yup, I have this grand obsession to bringing people alternative views on things that matter, things that happened, things that should be. When I am circled with friends who are religious, Islamic or politically conservative, I am the opposing force : I am the voice of liberalism, a campaigner of lesser grip by religion on governance, or an advocate for multiracial, multifaith society, When I am around very liberal people, I am the voice of tradition: I speak of the importance of Islamic tradition, the need for political ideology that incorporates Islamic ethos and freedom of expression hand by hand, and the need to respect the faith of the society, however ridiculous and outdated I think it is.

I don't know when I started having this kind of obsession, I suspect I might be really influenced by Ikem's lecture in the novel Anthills of the Savannah by Chinua Achebe,  but really, it starts to get wearisome.

Sure, I do have some topics that I am already decided on my stand is- but most of the time, I can't help myself telling some people that "Hey, stop a second. You see, how about we see it this way? How will that affect the legitimacy of your argument? Hey, that might be necessarily be the case . It might be explained this way , right? Hey, that's a brilliant argument, but how about we fill the loophole of your argument by an opinion that is truly paradoxical to yours? "

It's never about convincing people that you are right. For all I know, I might be wrong most of the time. I just want to spread the idea that things are not as easy-cut as some people think they are, or some things need to be analysed more critically.

But it starts to get boring,especially when I couldn't people who want to challenge me. I love to be proven wrong. But these days it is so easy for me to just agree to people- apparently I too am slowly being comfortable with my own stand. Urm, in a way it's a good idea. One could be a non-comformist for so long.

But I really love people who brings new ideas. New inspirations. New themes that speaks of harmony and flexibility and respect and acceptance and galore in the life that is short yet so awesome it ends in grandeur. Not debates. Most of the debates I watched are merely battle of wits and words, mostly emotions. I don't want that. I want ideas, I want perceptions.

Oh my, I do have an affinity to be a teacher/lecturer, somehow.

The Lesson

I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living
sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

Do not be conformed to
this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what
is the will of God — what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Let love be genuine; hate what
is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another
in showing honour. Do not lag in zeal, be ardent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be
patient in suffering, persevere in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints; extend hospitality
to strangers.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those
who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty,
but associate with the lowly; do not claim to be wiser than you are. Do not repay anyone evil for
evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. If it is possible, so far as it depends on
you, live peaceably with all.

Romans 12: 1, 2, 9–18

Artsy.

Tonight : Music by Andrew Llyod Webber at the Auckland Civic Theatre. Famous show tunes from Andrew Llyod's Webber famous musicals such as Jesus Christ Superstar, Whistle in the Wind, Phantom of the Opera, Cats and Evita.

Tomorrow: Graduation Gala Concerto Competition 2011 at the Auckland Town Hall. 3 classical music performers will test their musical abilities accompanied by Auckland University's Symphony Orchestra and intermission by Auckland Mass choir. Featuring Flute Concerto by Carl Nielsen, Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini by Serge Rachmaninoff, Piano Concerto No 3 in C by Sergey Prokofiev.

Next week's Wednesday : University of Auckland Chamber Choir at Auckland University's School of Music.


This year is the year of discovering arts and culture. Last year was traveling around. Yeah I do regret not being able to save much money due to traveling a lot last year and spending for theatre and music this year, but yeah, I won't have the same opportunity for all these when I'm stuck at some kind of rural MRSM, am I?

Lord of the Rings.

"Sons of Gondor,of Rohan,my brothers!I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me.A day may come when the courage of men fails,when we forsake our friends,and break all bonds of fellowship;but it is not this day!An hour of woe,and shattered shields,when the Age of Men comes crashing down;but it is not this day!This day we fight!By all that you hold dear on this good earth,I bid you stand,Men of West!"

The Little Match Girl by Hans Christian Andersen.

Most terribly cold it was; it snowed, and was nearly quite dark, and evening-- the last evening of the year. In this cold and darkness there went along the street a poor little girl, bareheaded, and with naked feet. When she left home she had slippers on, it is true; but what was the good of that? They were very large slippers, which her mother had hitherto worn; so large were they; and the poor little thing lost them as she scuffled away across the street, because of two carriages that rolled by dreadfully fast.

One slipper was nowhere to be found; the other had been laid hold of by an urchin, and off he ran with it; he thought it would do capitally for a cradle when he some day or other should have children himself. So the little maiden walked on with her tiny naked feet, that were quite red and blue from cold. She carried a quantity of matches in an old apron, and she held a bundle of them in her hand. Nobody had bought anything of her the whole livelong day; no one had given her a single farthing.

She crept along trembling with cold and hunger--a very picture of sorrow, the poor little thing!

The flakes of snow covered her long fair hair, which fell in beautiful curls around her neck; but of that, of course, she never once now thought. From all the windows the candles were gleaming, and it smelt so deliciously of roast goose, for you know it was New Year's Eve; yes, of that she thought.

In a corner formed by two houses, of which one advanced more than the other, she seated herself down and cowered together. Her little feet she had drawn close up to her, but she grew colder and colder, and to go home she did not venture, for she had not sold any matches and could not bring a farthing of money: from her father she would certainly get blows, and at home it was cold too, for above her she had only the roof, through which the wind whistled, even though the largest cracks were stopped up with straw and rags.

Her little hands were almost numbed with cold. Oh! a match might afford her a world of comfort, if she only dared take a single one out of the bundle, draw it against the wall, and warm her fingers by it. She drew one out. "Rischt!" how it blazed, how it burnt! It was a warm, bright flame, like a candle, as she held her hands over it: it was a wonderful light. It seemed really to the little maiden as though she were sitting before a large iron stove, with burnished brass feet and a brass ornament at top. The fire burned with such blessed influence; it warmed so delightfully. The little girl had already stretched out her feet to warm them too; but--the small flame went out, the stove vanished: she had only the remains of the burnt-out match in her hand.

She rubbed another against the wall: it burned brightly, and where the light fell on the wall, there the wall became transparent like a veil, so that she could see into the room. On the table was spread a snow-white tablecloth; upon it was a splendid porcelain service, and the roast goose was steaming famously with its stuffing of apple and dried plums. And what was still more capital to behold was, the goose hopped down from the dish, reeled about on the floor with knife and fork in its breast, till it came up to the poor little girl; when--the match went out and nothing but the thick, cold, damp wall was left behind. She lighted another match. Now there she was sitting under the most magnificent Christmas tree: it was still larger, and more decorated than the one which she had seen through the glass door in the rich merchant's house.

Thousands of lights were burning on the green branches, and gaily-colored pictures, such as she had seen in the shop-windows, looked down upon her. The little maiden stretched out her hands towards them when--the match went out. The lights of the Christmas tree rose higher and higher, she saw them now as stars in heaven; one fell down and formed a long trail of fire.

"Someone is just dead!" said the little girl; for her old grandmother, the only person who had loved her, and who was now no more, had told her, that when a star falls, a soul ascends to God.

She drew another match against the wall: it was again light, and in the lustre there stood the old grandmother, so bright and radiant, so mild, and with such an expression of love.

"Grandmother!" cried the little one. "Oh, take me with you! You go away when the match burns out; you vanish like the warm stove, like the delicious roast goose, and like the magnificent Christmas tree!" And she rubbed the whole bundle of matches quickly against the wall, for she wanted to be quite sure of keeping her grandmother near her. And the matches gave such a brilliant light that it was brighter than at noon-day: never formerly had the grandmother been so beautiful and so tall. She took the little maiden, on her arm, and both flew in brightness and in joy so high, so very high, and then above was neither cold, nor hunger, nor anxiety--they were with God.

But in the corner, at the cold hour of dawn, sat the poor girl, with rosy cheeks and with a smiling mouth, leaning against the wall--frozen to death on the last evening of the old year. Stiff and stark sat the child there with her matches, of which one bundle had been burnt. "She wanted to warm herself," people said. No one had the slightest suspicion of what beautiful things she had seen; no one even dreamed of the splendor in which, with her grandmother she had entered on the joys of a new year.

Marriage

To me, marriage is a good thing. It's beautiful. It is majestic. It's one of the thing that makes life more perfect for all people.

Hurm.
I bet people won't actually understand what I am trying to say here.

If you think that this post is about my feeling of wanting to get married , you are dead wrong. If you think this is kind of an advice from me so that people should get married, you are also dead wrong.

Good night.

R.I.P Elisabeth Sladen (Sarah Jane Smith)

You were the best Doctor Who's companion to me. I only watch the rebooted version of Doctor Who, but in just the few episodes you were there, you were absolutely amazing.

We never knew that you were battling with cancer, and still you've given us such a wonderful Sarah Jane Smith as the Doctor's companion, and such a great hero to the children in Sarah Jane Adventures.

Rest in peace , Lis Sladen. We Whovians will greatly miss you.

Modernism versus Postmodernism

I'd love to point out that while some of us still believe that we are still living in the paradigm of modernism , I on the other hand greatly favor the idea of the current moment as the beginning of postmodernism already- if not, the transition in progress.

La Belle Dame Sans Merci

by John Keats, 1820.

Me

My perspectives about life change over the years. It comes from discussing with friends, attending talks and seminars, my own reading and some are just some social phenomenon I observed and they unconsciously changed my whole perspectives on things.

However, since Form 1 , there is one idea that still hasn't changed. Very stubborn idea. Brings me one hell of a nightmare. It follows me through different kinds of schools and environment I've been into, yet consistently stays the same.

I hardly believe in God.

God exists or not is hardly my concern. It is just convenient to believe in a God. Unfortunately, it backfires too: I see God in everything, in all things sacred and profane, in all religions, in all that is violent and all that is bad, and all that humanity has fallen.

Maybe it arose from the childhood trauma, maybe it came from the feelings of alienation and despair I've felt throughout the years, or maybe it's just because of who I am.

I mean, obviously I freaked out about it. I was a nice guy back then. I was. Sometimes I even feel like I'm still the nice guy I was. *SOMETIMES*.

Those years are periods of guilt and temptation. I consciously 'punish' myself with fasting almost all time hoping that eventually I get and accept the argument of God. I've never missed a kuliah in surau. I went to see the ustazs in their rooms. I even taught my neighbors reciting Quran . I was the one who taught my late grandmum shahadah during her moments of dying.Yet, hello, God? Not *really* buying it.

Honestly I feel like a two-faced creature.

Nevertheless, I don't want people to become like me. I've never so far encourage people to be rebellious or questioning or anything. I give people what they want to hear, what they need to hear. Most of the time it was never things that I believe in.

Let people live their easy life. Ignorance is bliss.

Faith is powerful. Sometimes some people only have faith left of them.
Why should I remove it from them, knowing that my life in itself is oft a walk on a lonely path in hope for the life I won't ever get?

Judas

New single by Lady Gaga. Really, really loving it.

On other news, this week is the Holy Week for Christians - the week where Jesus Christ had his last supper, betrayed by Judas, crucified, said the seven statements, embalmed, resurrected and ascended to Heaven.

Note to self: Don't play this song loudly in front of any devout Christian ( or non-religious but still sensitive believer),out of respect. Ignore people who hate Gaga. Ignore people who question your choice of music.

Happy Easter to the Christians or like me, a chocolate believer.

My English.

I think that my English is generally better now. Speaking-wise, might not be ( due to not really mingling around, I prefer to be alone anyway) , but the rest are much, much better. You know, at night,  when you have a dream where it was all in English, something must've changed right? 

By the way, I've decided to 'decorate' my room wall with all those brochures and tickets and memorabilia that I attend and found this year.

Those Slingshot brochures- our house's current internet provider. Two months of waiting, with all kinds of complication. Really deserve a place on my wall.
 A couple of theatre and mucical play tickets I've been and am going to this May. So far I've enjoyed all the shows especially Poor Boy by Matt Cameron/Tim Finn and the Importance of Being Earnest by Auckland Theatre Company.
ANZAC Day service- in case I forgot. " Lest we forget"- the motto. Cool. I really enjoy ANZAC day, you feel those sense of community often absent in a developed nation.

Heh. If only I start collecting all these things last year, I would have all my walls filled up now. But never mind, it's never too late to do all these things.

Self- Belief

We will believe what we want to believe. We can fool ourselves with biased observations, distorted facts , erratic arguments, but in the end, as I said before, people will eventually believe what they want to believe.

That is the power of faith.

And this works universally- all people, from all gender, races, creeds and ideologies.

How many people anyway these days maintain a neutral approach in life? I don't, for example. I have a set of bias that I internalise in order to smoothly integrate into my very nosy society, for example. Sometimes I talked about things that I don't really believe in- because sometimes you respect someone you know and you don't want to offend them .

Yet sometimes, I openly talk about my opinions, things that I believe in though it clashes with the convention- because I truly respect them, and because of this sense of honoring and respecting them, I want them to know me as I am, not as what I usually portray myself to be.

And if they really do respect me as well, they'll be fine about it. I don't want people to actually agree with me anyway, I just want them to know that in this world, there are many opinions available in life. In the eyes of your God, it might matter,but we can't expect things that your God deemed right to be easily accepted by other people- especially if it's laden with anger and emotions and self-depreciating sentiments.

To Learn To Respect Disagreements.

I know that to an extent, I am a humanist. A secular or religious humanist, I cannot say, since although I'm very comfortable with the idea of secularity, I am not yet not to an extent deny myself the capacity of believing in some kind of Creator.

And I'm some sort of a Muslim. I pray, I read Quran, I fast , I tend to have a certain bias on Islamic perspectives and so on.

But looking all those people who see themselves as humanist,  liberal, open-minded, critical- it's not very hard to see that some of them do inhibit some unnecessary hostility feelings towards Muslims.

Well, I hope that I'm not one of these people. I've has ustazs as my uncles, most of my good friends belong to a number of evangelistic-like Muslim organizations, drawing heavily from the wisdom of Banna or Qutb.

They are wonderful, awesome people. They aren't some blind and uneducated Muslims the world are trying to portray them. In fact, some of them are VERY intelligent, fairly successful , and I can say, lead a happy life.

A couple of them actually are being truly respectful with all my opinions that sometimes clash with the taken-for-granted views in the Islamic world. And I truly admire them for that. You see, it takes courage to believe in something, but they believe in something but they don't condemn people who believes in something else. 

They believe fully in Islamic system and it's ability to cure the society. On the other hand, I see society as a work in progress. But, that's it.

There is no right or wrong in the conditions of society- granted sufficient amount of knowledge, efficient management and productive dialectical reasoning amongst its members, the society is advancing infinitely. A more liberal society or a more conservative society are just social phenomenons that reflect the people within that society and how they interact with the revolving ideas and aspiring powers available in their surroundings.

I cannot say what the society would be in 50 years time, and I can't even decide that a particular way is the only way the society must go. Sure, we can plan. We can try to campaign or work towards our ideal society, but in the 50 years time, it was the members of that future era who have the right to dictate their life and how their society should function.

The Islamists, as I would call them generally, have a grand plan for society. Idealistic, nevertheless, but ideals are what make human minds so fascinating, right? Us fragile humans and our absolutely grand ideals. I do not necessarily agree with them, but I believe they have the right to propagate their beliefs. Unless they're start killing people- which is not the case here- I would argue.

I don't support this kind of evangelistic Islam, but I don't go shout at them with raged emotions.

 Humanity is a work in progress, and so shall it be forever.

Sejarah Islam

Saya berpandangan bahawa ada sebab teks sejarah pelajar2 Malaysia agak condong kepada sejarah Islam- sebab politik, hasil tidak langsung islamisasi peringkat nasional . Apatah lagi Tanah Melayu pernah mempunyai banyak Kerajaan Islam. Sejarah itu milik para penguasa, kata seorang penulis. Sejarah itu tugasnya memenangkan benda yang mungkin menangnya tipis, dan merendahkan benda yang mungkin malunya besar. Memang sedih bila sejarah jadi mainan politik, tapi sejarawan yang tulen , Islami atau sekularis perlu sedar bahawa menulis sejarah lampau ialah suatu amanah. Menggahkan benda yang tidak apa2 ataupun merendahkan jasa orang lain- apa baiknya pada tamadun?

Budi Bahasa Budaya Kita

: )

......dan akhirnya bila diujarkan kepada sang skeptisis, maka dipulangkan , "apa itu  budaya? "

You bloody skeptic. Stop being so critical.

Syiah Bukan Islam. Betullah.

Memang, Syiah bukan Islam.

Tapi Sunni pun bukan Islam.

Kedua-duanya hanyalah mazhab-mazhab dalam Islam.

Kalaulah Syiah bukan Muslim, makanya beberapa tahun yang lalu, OIC ini diterajui orang kafir.
Kalaulah mereka kafir lahanat, takyahlah bangga mengaku banyak Muslim meneraju sains dahulukala. Checkla sendiri buku-buku falsafah Ibnu Sina dan Al-Biruni, misalan.

Cakap memang senang, memang mudah mengkafirkan orang lain.

Samalah macam kata-kata berbaur rasisme senang sahaja dilontarkan hatta daripada orang-orang yang baik-baik sendiri. Disgusting.

Hadis sahih Sunni ada disebutkan: ' barangsiapa menuduh seseorang sebagai kafir, samada yang tertuduh atau yang dituduh tu kafir'.

Fikir-fikirlah semula. Dunia ni memang senang je tuduh menuduh. Orang Islam khabarnya ada akhirat. Ada berjuta-juta orang Syiah yang kau tuduh kafir wei.

Kalau sesama Muslim pun camni, nak marah apanya kalau orang cakap Muslims are terrorist?

I myself would agree!

Muslims are terrorist!

Kalau marah fikir-fikirlah.Christians seronok ke cakap dorang kompem masuk neraka? Kau ingat
Syiah seronok tiba-tiba mereka jadi orang kafir?

That's why I see institutionalised religions as ridiculous. Self-religious bigots, the lots of them.

Please disagree with me. Actually, if you're the so-called "TRUE" Muslims you will disagree with me.

I don't believe in God that much anyway to simply accept the "God's
law" reason . Give wiser defense please : )

Regards,

WK

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Syiah Bukan Islam. Betullah.

Memang, Syiah bukan Islam.

Tapi Sunni pun bukan Islam.

Kedua-duanya hanyalah mazhab-mazhab dalam Islam.

Kalaulah Syiah bukan Muslim, makanya beberapa tahun yang lalu, OIC ini diterajui orang kafir.
Kalaulah mereka kafir lahanat, takyahlah bangga mengaku banyak Muslim meneraju sains dahulukala. Checkla sendiri buku-buku falsafah Ibnu Sina dan Al-Biruni, misalan.

Cakap memang senang, memang mudah mengkafirkan orang lain.

Samalah macam kata-kata berbaur rasisme senang sahaja dilontarkan hatta daripada orang-orang yang baik-baik sendiri. Disgusting.

Hadis sahih Sunni ada disebutkan: ' barangsiapa menuduh seseorang sebagai kafir, samada yang tertuduh atau yang dituduh tu kafir'.

Fikir-fikirlah semula. Dunia ni memang senang je tuduh menuduh. Orang Islam khabarnya ada akhirat. Ada berjuta-juta orang Syiah yang kau tuduh kafir wei.

Kalau sesama Muslim pun camni, nak marah apanya kalau orang cakap Muslims are terrorist?

I myself would agree!

Muslims are terrorist!

Kalau marah fikir-fikirlah.Christians seronok ke cakap dorang kompem masuk neraka? Kau ingat
Syiah seronok tiba-tiba mereka jadi orang kafir?

That's why I see institutionalised religions as ridiculous. Self-religious bigots, the lots of them.

Please disagree with me. Actually, if you're the so-called "TRUE" Muslims you will disagree with me.

I don't believe in God that much anyway to simply accept the "God's
law" reason . Give wiser defense please : )

Regards,

WK

Sent from my iPod

Bible

I know some Islamic groups such as PEMBELA (which ISMA is one of them) are against distribution of Malay Bible in Malaysia, because of the use of "Allah" word, it's forbidden under the state laws, or because it's the Malay Bible itself.
. I understand their reasons, yet I disagree wholeheartedly.
People should be able to read what they want- as simple as that. All these so-called protection for the Muslims' aqidah is absurd and paranoid- that's what I believe.

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The Best Thing

The best thing that I can do to myself is to stay true to what I believe in.

Never mind people. I am the people. That's the spirit.

As long as the Golden Rule is observed, no worries.

Sent from my iPod

Take a Stand

Take a stand, even if it conflicts with your upbringing.
But tell it clearly.
Tell it with passionate expression, yet at the same time non-emotional.
To take a stand is to realise that others have stand, too.
Be clear in what you believe in.
Give your reasons.
If God is your reason, say it .
If love is your reason , say it.
If love is your reason to leave your God, say it.
This is no longer an age of condemnation.
How many people condemn? Many. You hoping that one more people stop condemning won't give you any good anyway. There are always people who will condemn.
In the end, people around you can just tell you things. It's you who will decide. 

Take your stand in a nice manner. What you believe in is not necessarily true. You may see that it's true, but others don't. Be adamant in what you believe in. Yet, be open to frank debates and discussion.

You believe in God? Great. Your don't believe in God? Sure, I'm kinda disappointed but hey, it's your life. I will expose you to why I believe in God, but I will never ever force to believe in it.

This Feeling.

There are times when you want to be alone.
There are times when you want to hang out with your friends.
To be with people who matter.
To meet God, or whatever existence of higher consciousness.
In the end, even I have to admit that no man is an island. No matter how disappointed you are with yourself or people around you, we are all linked towards each other.

This link, created by God or by the hands of Man alone, is so powerful, in its own way.

This link, which some people would say the epitome of humanity, is what brings faith and happiness. The very nature of selfishness that humankind has due to its animalistic form is subservient to this higher form of being.

The very nature that some people in Malaysia or Canada would proclaim, " We are all Bouazizi!", " We are all Libyans!", " We are all Egyptians!"
The very nature that Australians and NewZealanders are two most charitable nations in the world.
The very nature that in the times of stress, we help and we share.

Is it for the survival of humanity? Perhaps, but as skeptic as I can be, even I wish for this feeling and the actions that I and many, many others have taken in response to this feeling are for the purpose much grander, much nobler.

Eye Opener.EDUC 283

To me, EDUC 283 is an eye-opener.
What kind of a teacher you want to be?
Executive , liberationists, facilitative ?
What is your ideals and ends of education?
Is it about student's enlightenment?Is it about democracy?
Is it about self-awereness?
Or is it just creating products ready for the industry? Ready for the workforce? Something our neo-Marxists such as Gramsci had theorized years ago?
If Gramsci was correct, teachers are then the very first slaves of capitalism.

I am more of a liberationist, I think. I might not be later on.
Nevertheless, just for the sake of mentioning, I read Shariati's view of education. Somehow.
Shariati argues, in conclusive statement that education is the way a man ( bashaar), in its animal state strives to be an insan, a being defined by its soul, not just by its flesh and bones.
A man who uses the brain to speculate and think and ponder, yet depends on the soul to give him the answer.

I don't necessarily agree with Shariati.
I believe in quite a relativistic view of matter.
True meaning of education doesn't really matter to me- just like the true(est) religion is nothing for me.

Makanya..

kelas pun bermula. New semester, bak datang.

I Feel Stupid (expletives, beware)

At the moment, I feel stupid.
I pay NZD158 every week for my rent, but I couldn't sleep on my own bed, in my own room because the whole house is infested with bed bugs. And I have to sleep at a friend's house.

I went to see the doctors three times already, and judging by the scars that I got all over my body, it was severe.

The apartment manager tried to minimise spending on this bed bug treatment. You hire one company to treat the matress and another company to treat the carpet. Fuck you. Hey, guess what, I found TWELVE bugs at my bed, just finished sucking the blood out of me. AFTER the treatment. I emailed the matress company, they blame the carpet cleaning company, I emailed the carpet cleaning guy, he blamed the matress cleaning people. So , what happens to me now?

This is what happens to me now. I am lying on the floor at the corridor of my house, this 158NZD per week house which honestly I don't particularly like at all from the very beginning so that I could sleep, hopefully.

The manager never actually notice how serious the bedbug infestation in this house is. In fact, he said that before me, "there wasn't any". I don't care, mr manager. There is now, and by the words of the pest guy and the doctors themselves, this infestation is serious. Before, we live in Mount Street, and none of us complained about bed bugs or anything. Even the current tenant there don't see any bedbugs. So, do not accuse us on causing this ourselves.

It's NZD158 per week, dammit. It's bloody expensive. Even the rooms have no window. We were given NO cutleries, no pans at all. But nevermind, we'll buy them all. It's alright.

We were bitten by bedbugs. Nevermind, thank God we have Studentsafe insurance. We don't have to pay for the expensive medicine and doctor's treatment. We don't even claim anything from you- the 40NZD spent on laundry alone, the flea bombs we bought ourselves, the times we've spent cleaning and re-cleaning this house. So why can't you hire a good pest control company which is truly accountable and could guarantee a good job well done?

You really are a fucking shit, manager. This is a fucking unattractive house at the beginning, now it's a fucking unlivable ones.

And 5 of us paid NZD158 each per week for this motherfucker.

You know why I am this deeply disturbed? I couldn't sleep, not because I don't want to, but because some crawling things keep coming for me for my blood. And it's not even Alice Cullen. Shit. Shit. And fuck you.

Sent from my iPod

Gempa Bumi Di Canterburry.

Hope my friends are all fine. These are dark times.

My prayers go to the brave citizens of Christchurch . Stay strong.

Avalanche City

Love Love Love

Girl i say if only
life would lean our way
well you and me we'd run away to be
where ever our adventure waits

and time would be a distant memory
nobody could tell us to stay
well i've been dreaming ever since i've seen you
heaven when you came my way

i heard your heart sing love love love

oh it seems awfully
hard for us to find at all
well all these years will wash away
and we'll be clean but we'll have nothing more

i can say there'll come another day
where money and our time affords
but on our hands our wrinkles understand
we never really wanted more

and all the life about to go
is in my mind
and all the loudest voices in the world
are never right

*Kiwi music all the way* ~~~

Sekian.

Sakit itu ubat.
Sekian.

18 Hari

Semester 1 2011 akan bermula.
18 hari lagi untuk bercuti sepuas-puasnya.

Secular.

What is secularism?
What constitute secularity?
If one support a laissez-faire secularism in state system or in economy, is it a bad thing?
Why laizzez-faire secularism, not laicite secularism? 
Is it wrong to support a religiously neutral stand in a country where only 60.4 percent of the citizens are Muslims?
Is it not the democracy must go together with individual rights, in the intention that the majority would not oppress the minority?
So far, how does it go?

Being secular is fine. Being Muslim evangelist is fine.
In my opinion , it starts to be not fine when one starts demonising each other, in order to attract support.
We depend more on the push factor, not the pull factor.

Mahu.

Kalian mahu Islam. Saya tidak peduli. Tetapi itu tidak bermakna saya akan menafikan hak anda untuk mahukan Islam.
Sekian.

Thoughts.

Jim Morrison:

"The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution, on and individual level. It's got to happen inside first. You can take away a man's political freedom and you won't hurt him- unless you take away his freedom to feel. That can destroy him. That kind of freedom can't be granted. Nobody can win it for you."

Sent from my iPod

Keamanan

Kita. Kita nampak bangunan terbakar, kita terus menuduh demonstran yang bersalah. Kita. Kita nampak samseng-samseng jalanan, kita menuduh pula mereka-mereka yang bertempur dengan samseng-samseng ini .

Alah, kita bukannya tahu 40% rakyat negara itu hidup dengan USD2 sebulan. Alah, kita bukannya pernah baca kisah-kisah tahanan negara itu disiksa. Kita baca Ayat-Ayat Cinta meleleh-leleh, padahal si pengarang memaparkan realiti penjara negara itu.
Seronok pasal Fahri itu sempurna sahaja. AAC cerita jiwang, bukan cerita melawan kejahatan, kan kan?

Kita kata, "dah aman dah negeri tu, nak apa lagi? ". Kalau rakyat sebilangannya terlebih kenyang, sebilangannya kelaparan,aman apa?

Amanla, dah dapat duit berbillion buat tembok tinggi keliling teroris antarabangsa, Palestin.

Kalaupun benci sangat membaca berkenaan Revolusi Iran itu, sebab Islamik sangatlah, syiah kafirlah, bacalah pasal Revolusi Perancis. Rujuk silanglah, silakan.

Bacalah puisi William Wordsworth berkenaan revolusi itu, misalan. Baca kenapa lapar itu akhirnya menjatuhkan monarki Perancis.

Tapi,memang bodohla sesiapa yang menyamakan negara ini dan negara itu. Itu namanya hiperbola. Tapi, amaran, Obama cakap betul juga, kalau tidak ada reform dalam sistem kita, akan jadi negara itulah dalam setengah abad lagi. Jangan main-main. Negara itu living proof.

Tapi, kalau ada manusia-manusia yang cakap mengguling pemimpin negara itu tidak ada gunanya - itu saya cakap ini sahajalah, "selamat membaca".

Tak apa. Kalau benci sangat dengan al-jazeera pun, baca BBC atau Fox News pun tak apa. Media itu pun jelas cakap sebab-sebab kenapa rakyat negara itu benci pemimpin mereka.

Saya sendiri menyokong pemerintahan jenis demokrasi sekular di negara itu. Jadi, jangan ingat saya tulis macam ini sebab saya menyokong puak Islamis. Rakyat yang murtad pun ada hak asasi.

Sekian.

Sent from my iPod

Revolusi Ini.

Revolusi ini, pada pandanganku, bukanlah sebuah revolusi Islam sepertimana yang berlaku di Iran.

Ianya bukan sebuah revolusi Islam, tetapi ini revolusi Islamik. Revolusi ini sungguh mendapat justifikasi dari sudut Islam.

Revolusi ini ialah revolusi rakyat yang tertindas. Rakyat yang Islamik, rakyat yang sekular, rakyat yang agamanya Kristian Koptik, rakyat wanita yang bertudung dan yang tidak bertudung. Ini ialah revolusi para mustad'afin, revolusi mereka-mereka yang tertekan.

Revolusi ini revolusi di mana seluruh lapisan masyarakat turun, lelaki dan perempuan, berjilbab atau berambut blonde, menjatuhkan seorang diktator Firaun. Mereka bercampur baur sesama mereka, tangan lelaki dan wanita sama-sama menghayun bendera Mesir, suara mereka lelaki dan wanita sama-sama mengumandangkan lagu-lagu patriotik Mesir.

Dan sungguh, kalaulah ulama-ulama besar sekalipun menyuruh manusia-manusia ini pulang kerana berlakunya campur-baur antara lelaki dan perempuan, sepertimana kata ulama-ulama salaf  terkenal di Arab Saudi , tidak ramai yang akan mengikut. "Persetan kamu, ulama anjing", manusia-manusia ini mungkin berkata. 

Ini bukan revolusi Islam. Ini revolusi hak civil yang Islamik.

Ini ialah tubuh-tubuh peminum arak , pemain judi, pengganggur terbiar, wanita-wanita yang kalian keji kerana enggannya mereka menutup aurat, peninggal solat TURUN bersekali dengan penjihad-penjihad Ikhwan, pemandu teksi cabuk, peniaga kecil yang saban hari terpaksa membayar rasuah kepada polis yang korup dan lelaki-lelaki tua yang anak mereka tersiksa di penjara-penjara Mesir- semuanya berkumpul di Tahrir Square.


Tahrir : Pembebasan.

Mungkinkah Tahrir kelak akan jadi Tiananmen? Naudzubillah.

Egypt dan Tunisia.

Setiap hari adalah Ashura, setiap tanah ialah Karbala.

Dan Tuhan ini ialah Tuhan mus'ada'fin, Tuhan orang-orang yang tertindas.
Tuhan ini ialah Tuhan yang mewahyukan agar Musa membawa kaumnya Bani Israel keluar daripada bumi Mesir ke Tanah yang Dijanjikan.
Tuhan ini ialah Tuhan kepada Firaun, Tuhan yang menenggelamkan keegoan dalam lautan yang ombaknya mengganas.
Sebegitu jugalah Tuhan ini, inshaAllah, akan mengeluarkan kaum-kaum yang tertindas kini daripada Firaun-Firaun zaman ini. 
Dan kita yakin dengan janji Allah. Kita yakin dengan janji Allah.

Akidah.

In Islam , there is such a thing called blasphemy.
You never question the practices of the religion, it is an utter disrespect towards the God and the Prophet.
You never question the scholars of the religion, it is a totally sinful act.
You don't also question the establishment based on Islamic system, because in the creed supposedly every Muslim is a political pawn whom each are subject to the holy order of creating a powerful Islamic empire that in the end bring peace to the world- 'peace' defined by the religion, of course.  

We are taught not to dispute hudud law, for example. We are taught to know, or at least remember verbally the hikmah behind it .
For example, I wouldn't question it, not because I am afraid that my aqidah would begone( I honestly don't care),  but because I am not ready to subject myself to a foolish attempt of questioning the status quo and frankly speaking, JAKIM has had enough cases as of late.

It is just come to my utter disappointment that some people find it fascinating to watch videos of how people who commit crimes are subject to hudud law and being killed by stoning or shooting. As if such is an entertainment. And this is the same people who watched the videos Palestinians being killed by the Israelis and wept. To some radical Zionists, killing Palestinians IS an entertainment. But Palestinians are human. The people punished are also human. Same oozy, dark, blood, same really graphic horror. The only difference is one's a sinner and one's a saint. Here the saints are the objects of pity and the sinners are the objects of ridicule.

We are objectifying human, in the end. Pathetic.

Worst, in some isolated cases, the very same person who watches this gruesome-looking divine law enactment is also the ones watching porn on the very same fancy laptop. The very same person who laughs at a Muslim adulterer and watching them being stoned with satisfaction and happiness ( because the God's law is being enacted- and it's good right, God's law) yet the same lust themselves in two White male and female doing coitus - and I'm pretty sure those are also adulterers.

I'm not saying that we all are saints. No. We all have dark secrets. We all have our weaknesses. I just realized on how sometimes, we have lost our touch of humanity. I will never ever question the morality besides hudud law, I am questioning the people who cast the stone.

Is it not enough that the stones are cast, but you record them and upload them for the world to see?

Moral lesson, is it? Warning? The Prophet said that after the punishment,dead or alive, these people are as good as never doing the sin in actuality. Instead, you let the images of these people, however sinful they may have been during living , haunting the World Wide Web practically, forever.

100 lashes are enough. Death is enough.

Oh, just watch all the cruelty that Palestinians face. Do watch whatever you want, kidnapped foreigners being slaughtered on the camera, or some Shiites holy mosques are bombed and hundreds were dead- and laugh all you want, because the kidnapped people were kafirs and Shiites are as bad as being kafirs. They deserve such treatment. 

But think, how does it feel watching those videos? Is it fear? Is it pride, because Islamic punishments are being carried? Or is it FUN, as if you were watching Gladiator fighting at the Colosseum?

If it's the last, don't ask whether you are a Muslim or not, ask whether you're a human or not.

South Island

This is the last night that I would be in this South Island and really, I will miss all this, somehow.

It was one of the wonderful days in my life so far- not pretty, but simply wonderful.

So till we meet again.

Wankhai's Being Bitter.

You think you're turning more and more away from the straight path these days. You miss the last year where everything was so simple.

You miss the days where you can even have that kind of determination to wake up early in the morning and recite ma'thurat after subuh just like what you used to do in your SIS days.
The days where following jaulah and daurah were fun- because like some anthropologists, this thing you're observing around you is like a microcosm of the sub-society called " ikhwah" and " islamis"- it's a new, fascinating thing. Now you happen to be one of it( somehow), you've finally going native- the excitement's all gone. All of a sudden now, you have more interest in the concept of religious pluralism and to an extent, the concept of open-monotheism. 
The days where praying subuh late was considered so bad and you're feeling so remorseful - now, you woke up with a shrug and just said, "nah, accidents happen. oversleeping is not counted, just pray subuh as it is".
The days where the words of Banna and Abduh was enlightenment - now, you don't even differentiate them with Nietzsche, Buddha nor that Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory .

You see people around you striving to be better and indeed they achieved greatness- but once God tested you, you failed on istiqamah because you 'feel' that you are better than living this goody-two-shoes-repetitive-boring life of yours that you had last year.

Guess what? You're an arse.

You think that you're better than the rest of these good fellows who finally becomes much better person than you will ever be ? Dreams, dude, dreams.

You need to be knocked some sense into you. A bitchslap would be fine, as well.

I mean, what kind of a person are you? Reading lots of things don't make you a better human, mister, it's how you act. You are a hopeless wreck , mate, and if you don't take any actions about any of this ridiculous life of yours- you'll definitely end up being bitter and alone.

You think you're okay with being alone, aye? Wait till you see the time when all your friends are balding and too busy too play with you since they have a screaming kids and a loud wife to attend to - and tell me, this ghost of your past- how is it being bitter and alone? Fun? In fact,as you don't even have a brain like Sheldon , or absurdly patient friends of his- tell me how you will cope with that kind of life- being a sad, widely-hated-by-students English teacher who are too stingy to give students an A1 for their Ujian Selaras?

Tough.

Now you might think that all this are just some emotional, rambling stuff you wrote because Faizi had borrowed your external drive and you are clueless on how to live your life at the moment without watching Doctor Who or Big Bang Theory which you had kept in the external drive, but mark my words, young man. Mark my words. It will come to you.

Yours truthfully,
The outcome of your one hour of external drive withrawal syndrome.

Kawan

To me, friends didn't need to contact each other too often, especially people from different places ( say, US and NZ) . Too much and you will run out of topics to say-unless you lead an interesting life ( for example, backpacking across the world- which most of us don't). If not,your messages will be full of "LOL"s and "huhu"s only. You can talk about women you admire, women you currently date or called dibs for ( credits to HIMYM for introducing this word to me) but even those evergreen topics won't go everlasting.

And don't even get started on the weather.

p/s: I really, really admire Sheldon Copper from the Big Bang Theory.

Doctor Who.

Yup. You got me.
Doctor Who is the name.
Wanna make me happy? Let's talk about Doctor Who.

2010

A new year. What a year 2010 was, I would say.

New friends. New environments. Same old dilemmas, tons of new things.

Same me, I would say. Yes, undoubtedly, I explored so many things last year, tried to change- but in the end, I decided to stop and stay who I am. I'm trying to balance between a Wan Khai I am supposed to be and the Wan Khai I really am inside.

Anyhows, 2011. New year. Bring it on,

Sent from my iPod