SMS Seorang Rakan

In my sekolah agama boarding school, the boys, my batch here simply divided girls into three groups:- the alim type, the biasa-biasa type, and the hot type. It’s a sekolah agama, mind you. From what I listened to the boys conversation, their chat, they are say that the alim girls cuma jual mahal jer, bajet alim, “bajet alim, kat luar keluar ngan jantan, gadai body”, biasa –biasa girls are almost not mentioned about, they are the boring type, “ kita kena cari awek yang hot”, and the most talked about group, the hot types, “ awek takleh cari yang alim-alim, kena cari yang hot ler, kalau tak, susahlah nak peluk-peluk kalau keluar dating”. This was said by my friend, abudak sekolah agama. Well, don’t blame him or us yet. We were just 14 years old at that time of conversation, simply teenagers with raging hormones. Stupid isn’t it? And because of it,I hate girls, because I can’t stand to listen much of the noisy little teens aka my friends told me what he would do if a girl was here, in this school. Stupid. This is what is called “kegersangan”- and it simply yucks, if it is tooooooo much. At that stage of my life, women, girls are simply a tool to satisfy men, which this tool is so mengada-ngada, high maintenance, and so so so stupid.

When I enter MRSM Muadzam Shah, it all changed. I don’t hate girls anymore. I figure out that they are nice people after all. All the boys’ fantasies that girls are always gersang, more than boys aren’t true. Well, to what I saw la. My girl classmates were great. They helped me with my Add Maths voluntarily, and we have a lively History subject discussion together. They respect me as much as I respect them, and though it was too late, I now know that I talked a lot. The girls simply told it to me, using the right word, at exactly the right time. I felt no signs of anger or sad at all, in fact, I turned out to be really glad. I know my weakness now, too much words said mean that there will also be too much rubbish mentioned. Hard to repair it, but at least I know myself.

In Muadzam I learn that yes, perhaps, i mean perhaps indeed girls can be divided into three groups, but to just say that these group is boring, they’re bajet alim, or diorang simply bitch is wrong. Don’t put things definitely. A free hair girl, yes, she doesn’t cover her aurat, but we can’t simply conclude that she will make sex with whoever she bercouple dengan bukan? Dan budak alim tidak semua bajet alim. Kita tak tahu keikhlasan orang. Kenapa nak benci perempuan alim? Sebab mereka susah untuk didekati? Dan apa definisi alim itu sendiri?

In Muadzam Shah, I learned optimism. This pessimist guy learned optimism. In Taiping, I learn adaptation and change. Simply a gift from God I was studying there. It broadened my spectrum of life, I learned about maturity and truth, and first time I discovered a teenage me.

Rakan-rakan di Izzuddin alhamdulillah majoritinya juga berjaya. Tapi satu event ini made me really schocked. One of my friends here is simply phenomenal.satu hari, we were discussing via sms about our life after school. He asked me, “ dah ada awek ke?”, to which I said, “no. Why?”. He then continued, “pernah main tak dengan pompuan?”, which I reply, “isk ko, mestilah tak. “. To my absolute astonishment, he simply said this to me, “ Aku pun tak penah . Penah buat yang ringan-ringan je masa kuar ngan awek aku. (ayat seterusnya dicensor). Kolej kau kan banyak pompuan, ko bagi ar nombor girls yang hot kat kolej ko. Budak-budak TESL pompuan sekelas dengan ko takder yang hot ke?”.

My GOD. I don’t really expect him to say like that. Yes, he’s not that good a person. I am also not a good person. He has handsome face which I don’t have.Such sweet talker which I am not. That’s why he got this sexy awek of her, kot. Still, to me, his words in the sms are really degrading women. Don’t her awek feel degraded? I wonder whether he actually loves his awek or just wants her body. I don’t need to say that “couple” is haram to him anymore because seems like he’s doing beyond the sins of “couple”. And after he told me he did “ringan-ringan” thing with his awek, how can she ask me to give my friends’ num? That’s crazy. And thinking that he asks me whether I “played” with a women is simply an astounding question. I feel like the question asked to me as if wankhai is not a muslim which Islam says that adultery is haram,and not a melayu in which we have to control our manners.

Girls ain’t divided into three. They are divided into two, just like the men, “ ahli neraka” dan “ahli syurga”. Kita bukan mu’tazilah kita tak percaya kat tengah-tengah antara syurga dan neraka. So, fikirlah sendiri. I also don’t sure where I am now, ahli neraka or syurga, what I know that at the end of my life, I hope it’s ahli syurga.

We live for a reason.