Some of people would recognize me for my peculiar habits i.e reading boring stuffs. Some of people would know me for I am the one of only two male TESL students in Kolej MARA Seremban. Some of people would say that I am a weird guy. Some would say that I'm a lucky guy, surrounded by girls while some on the other hand, will say that I'm extremely unlucky for that. Some would say that I am a very talkative and gossipy guy ( Ezzat Razini ~), and some would say that I am a deep??? person.A few , when they see my face, they will say that "Oh, this is Wankhai, the ex-MPP", or "Wankhai, the TESLIan ", or "Wankhai, who just got 10 in A-Level exams".
I don't care a damn about all above, what I actually care is when people associate me with "alimness" and "knowledgeble" or "nice". Really, it seriously freaks me out. I don't want to be attached whatsoever to these 3 adjectives.
"Alimness" is a total no no. For Heaven's sake,I watched American Idol, Heroes, Gossip Girl, American Next Top Model, tons of Japanese, English , Korean dramas!My daily prayers' a mess! I hardly do any nawafil prayers,and have lot of dark secrets etc...To hear that a senior thought I was an 'alim' brings me to laughter and fear!!I know I was from a religious school etc, being a naqib( to which still now I wonder why), but seriously, those who know me will say that I AM NOT at all even close to "alimness" world. Juju, for example, knows that. Hehe.
"Nice"- huhu, seriously , in Santa Claus' lists, I belong to the "naughty" ones. Hahahahahaha. I love gossiping!I love giving bad remarks on people's clothes, because I find no benefit of complimenting people for what they don't deserve". I'm a honest complimenter. Huhu.
I mean, I don't want people to misjudge me. I want them to know at least, what I am actually are, socially. I am yes, a weird person, or anything, and so they would expect what they should expect from me. I am not an alim guy who believes this or that. Once, in a chat in a friend's room, suddenly it turns to be a discussion about the "Islamic problems" in the college. I don't think I should belong to the discussion. Err, I do have an opinion about that, to which it is completely utterly a different approach, and I have to keep it to myself. Honestly. I just don't want to lie to myself.
Obviously as a Muslim, I know some matters are not to be compromised, however.
To the other end, some people who don't think they're "alim" aren't even helpful to their religion. Doesn't matter whether you are alim or not, solat is still obligatory, zakat is still wajib, and BEING A GOOD HUMAN BEING is still compulsory. Doesn't mean that you don't follow Islam or other faiths religiously you can harm yourself by taking drugs foolishly or killing people willy nilly.
I Am What I Am.
p/s: it is actually quoted from Bible, when Moses asks God who is He, however, it is quite practicable here, hehe. Peace.
1 comment:
ah well, at the very least, when u dont think you're alim, you won't have the problem with the 'i'm-holier-than-thou' attitude kot. which is a no-no in da'wah? which is compulsory regardless of being alim or not.
oh well, since alim is socially constructed, nak buat macam mana? go to the extent of the post-modernists and say, alim does not exist?
huheh.
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